Faculty NIL Admin
FacultyForum Replies Created
-
Excellently written. Structure is on point and lexical resources are used beautifully. Coherence and cohesion is maintained but still can be improved by including a few more cohesive devices.
One example is missing in the first body paragraph which is the only thing hurting your score.
One example is missing in the first body paragraph which is the only thing hurting your score.
Band score weightage: 5.0/6.0
-
Dear theatre management,
I am writing because I forgot my jacket during a recent showing at your cinema. The jacket is made from handmade hemp so it is rough and very distinctive. It is dyed blue and there is embroidery on the sleeves of brightly coloured flowers.
I was in cinema 6 for the afternoon session of King Kong. I ordered my tickets online beforehand and I just double-checked to confirm that my friend and I were seated in row K, seats 12 and 13, near the centre of the cinema.
I would advise you to check under the chairs in the cinema and in your lost and found section. If you are able to locate my jacket, please give me a phone call at 781-334-5054 and I will drive over to pick it up. If it is more convenient, you can also mail it to the return address on this envelope.
Thank you for your assistance.
Regards,
Jeremy
-
Analysis:
1. The bar chart details the changes in travel habits by mode of transport in 1990 and 2000 in the UK. 2. Looking from an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that the rise in total figures over the period was a result of increases from rail, bus and air as bicycle and motorbike usage fell. 3. The most common forms of travel were by far bus and rail.
1. Paraphrase what the graph shows.
2. Write a clear overview summarising the major trends and differences.
3. Add an extra sentence to be sure that you have covered everything.
Looking first of all at the two leaders, busing accounted for precisely 40 kilometres in 1990, before a small increase to 42 by 2000. 2. Rail was lower in both periods at 36 and 38 km, respectively.
1. Begin writing about the differences.
2. Compare as much as possible.
The less used modes of transport were all below 5 km a week. 2. Bicycles started at 2 and fell to 1 km while motorbikes halved from 4 to 2 km. 3. Finally, air in 1990 was just above 1 but had quadrupled to 4 km per month per person by 2000.
1. Write about the rest of the information.
2. Make sure you have detailed all the information.
3. Don’t leave anything out!
Overall totals constituted 100 km in 1990 and a subsequent 110 by the end of the period surveyed.
1. The total is also important to mention.
-
Some are of the opinion that children should be allowed to make mistakes, while others feel that adults should take a preventative approach. In my opinion, there are limits but it is nonetheless essential for healthy development to permit children their errors.
Proponents of reduced freedom for children argue that mistakes can lead to a pattern of misbehavior. This argument is often advanced by over-protective parents who believe human nature naturally trends toward anti-social activity. For example, a child who is mean to classmates and performs poorly in academics and athletics will only continue this behavior if enabled by understanding adults. To counter the child’s wayward impulses, parents should instead either punish or reward in order to motivate more socially acceptable behavior. The theory is that children will then recognize the boundaries set by parents and society and later fit into the adult world as well-functioning members.
Regardless, a sense of autonomy is crucial to mature development. Children who are shielded from making mistakes often lack the skills that encourage healthy growth. The majority of learning, for instance, is achieved through mistakes. A child who is learning a sport makes mistake after mistake but does it with a positive attitude and eventually improves. Later in life, the attitude may become more negative but the process remains the same for all disciplines, private and public. Parents and other adults must therefore seek to impart unconditional support and ensure children do not develop self-esteem problems based on their mistakes. This approach of fostering a cheerful self-sufficiency will serve them best throughout life.
In conclusion, although some adults may feel that are preventing children from making mistakes for the public good, they are in fact doing great harm to their child’s mental well-being. If larger segments of society accept this perspective, it will benefit all of society.
-
Sample for reference:
Undoubtedly governments of developed nations should share the responsibility of helping less fortunate nations. Different measures exist, ranging from market access to direct financial payments or even medical assistance. This essay will explain why certain measures are inherently better than other methods.
Firstly, the most adequate manner to assist the lesser developed countries is not through health or education ‘hand-outs’. This method is flawed and only offers temporary relief from long-term challenges; also this assistance can be cut at any moment, leaving the country stranded. For example, economical help from the UK to disadvantaged regions in Africa has gradually been reduced since the onset of the financial crisis. Although some parts of the continent may be better educated or in better health, the benefit was short lived, thus leaving the countries of Africa to look for other donors.
Commerce is without doubt the most essential type of assistance that can be given. If the lesser developed country has the opportunity to develop trade, then it will build strong capabilities to serve it for the long term. These strengths can develop the local economy and are more reliable than education or health. For example, while trading with the richer country the government can search for other foreign markets to trade with. This would offer more stability and diversification for the nation.
To conclude, assistance is definitely necessary for the poorer regions; however, ‘hand-outs’ are short-term solutions. The optimum solution is to offer market access so the region can produce products and generate regular income. -
hi
-
Nice
-
We need to discuss grammar
-
nicely written Mohit.
-
Everything written perfectly well, however in the conclusion paragraph you said that the TV still remains a top but it does not hiking surpassed watching television with almost a 15% gap.
Except this one point, this is very well written report and deserves compliments.
Band score weightage: 2.5/3.0
-
Excellent piece of writing. You did a commendable job and if you do the same in the actual test you are going to get through with flying colours.
Band Score Weightage: 5.5/6.0
-
My grandfather had gifted me an antique watch on my 18th birthday and you are also very fascinated when I had shown the same to you..(Quite a long time ago should be in past perfect)
When I reached my home.(Perfect sentence is not needed here)
Grammatical range needs to improve, other than that maintain grammatical accuracy.
Band Score: 1.5/3.0
-
The opening line of the letter could have been better because it’s too abrupt starting with thank you. Except that everything looks pretty good. Lexical resources are utilised properly and the grammatical range is appropriate for this question.
Band Score: 2.5/3.0
-
If you could have presented the watch in person.
It was an excellent piece of writing. Really commendable. I have no new remarks except the one I mentioned above.
Band Score: 2.5/3.0
-
n
-
n
-
You have done an excellent job for the first time. The structure is good enough and you have used enough good words.
There are a few grammatical errors noted but nothing major.
However I would like you to pay attention to your conclusion. Never make suggestions in conclusion or start a new point.
Band Score: 4.0/6.0
-
The introduction is a bit too long and elaborated. Keep it simple and precise. The first body paragraph is even shorter than the introduction and there is no example given for your reason.
The word procure has been used in the wrong context. We need to discuss this question type and the structure of paragraphs in details.
-
No approach to the writing is good, however the examples in the first paragraph do not do justice. Examples that you had mentioned is very generic.
Do not start the second paragraph without a cohesive device.
The sentence construction is good lexical resources are also maintained properly.
Band Score: 5.0/6.0
-
Social networking websites are thought to have an adverse impact on individuals as well as. their society by lots of people. I totally disagree with this statement for several reasons that I will explain in the following paragraphs.
To start with, social community enabled(enables) families and friends to communicate with each other on a daily basis. To illustrate, lots of family reunion stories were raised via using Facebook as well as friends reconnecting with their childhood mates. Nowadays, family members who live in another country can share their precious moments with other members instantly through the Snapchat application.
Moreover, intercommunicating (Inter-communication) allowed students to have a massive number of chances to explore different areas that interest them and learn a lot about them. To elaborate, many courses are broadcasted(broadcast = it has no forms like put) lively (live) on Instagram free of charge which is beneficial for them on both educational and budgetary aspects. Also, cooking recipes are shared by famous chefs on Snapchat helped mothers to provide various fabulous dishes from international cuisines.
Furthermore, the internet community helped young traders to start their businesses by exposing them to different categories of customers with (for)almost no cost. For instance, Instagram users can use this platform to advertise their products at a low cost while attracting customers worldwide. In addition, the internet market became the first and easy choice for any start-up company to check whether the customers would like their product or not.
In conclusion, Social networking has many advantages that benefit individuals and their society as well as help them to advance in their careers and life.
Feedback:
Few more grammatical errors popped up. These are not specifically sentence construction errors but more of word usage.
Other than that the sentence construction in paragraph framing is excellent.
Band Score: 5.0/6.0
-
Some people argue that the lifestyle offered by living in the cities is better than living in the countryside. I my opinion, I completely agree with them for many reasons that I will explain in the following paragraphs.
To begin with, urban areas have all the public facilities that serves (no s) their population efficiently. For example, high quality schools and hospitals can be easily accessed by the students and patients, respectively. Also, main airports and governmental institutions are located in these areas. Another point is that there are many job opportunities available in town since all the huge corporates have their main branches in such districts. For instance, the teachers, doctors and engineers can easily apply to multiple company at the same time to increase their chance of securing the job they need while staying at the same region and don’t have to leave their families for another sector.
On the other hand, rural areas don’t have a diverse number of institutions that provide public services to their society. To illustrate, while having the essential organizations present such as hospitals and schools, they don’t provide as many services as the ones in the municipalities. Moreover, because there are less companies in the landscape, there are fewer chances for job seekers to be enrolled at or to advance in their careers. An example for that is engineers, they can’t utilize as many resources in such places because either they are not available or not suitable for the farmlands.
In conclusion, living in a city provides many services and facilities for the people while enjoying an amazing lifestyle at a hectic pace.
Feedback:
Grammatical accuracy is finally excellent except one mistake in the beginning. The structure of the paragraphs is also good.
You will still be marked down and lexical resource assessment. Try to include few more good words in there to increase your chances of getting a good score.
-
As we are engrossed in computers in every aspect of today’s life (instead of computers are engrossed in every aspect of today’s life),
Rather than depriving them of the answers of their curiosities.
Society should be cautious as well as informed by providing screen time to children.
Don’t ask questions in conclusion. Put your point across and a stick to your opinion and make it clear by summarising your points.
This answer is worthy of a band score of 4.0/6.0
-
Some people prefer high wages while other prioritise work satisfaction. I completely agree that one need to be at peace with job to be happy in life .
Firstly, job satisfaction is crucial for mental tranquility because people become sluggish when they’re not at peace with their work .Moreover ,people become sleepy and less energetic if they are not content ,hence (thus is more appropriate) reducing thier productivity which is hazardous both for the company as well as the indivisual. Often life becomes monotonous for such indivisuals ,hence hampering thier success .unsatifaction (dissatisfaction) make(s) people suseptible to depression and they become irritable .For example my friend who worked in Google quit his job to follow his passion in singing and is now happily composing songs in Bollywood ,furthermore he is a well-known name in Indian music industry.
Secondly people often exacerbate (this word means to make something worse, which is not appropriate here, exaggerate is more appropriate) the importance of money but actually materialistic things don’t make much difference in the far future(long term is better usage) .Materialism often promotes a fraudulent life sucking out dreams and aspirations out of people hence leaving them hollow and sad inside ,spiralling into a pit of sadness and depression .for example celebrities who lead a luxurious life are often depressed and anxious hence proving money cannot buy happiness
In conclusion i opine that money cannot buy peace and one need(s) to love his job (in order) to progress in every prospect of life therefore it is essential to have job satisfaction for mental peace.
Feedback:
It was an excellent work in terms of the sentence construction as well as maintaining the proper structure of the essay. Few grammatical errors are noted which are pointed out. Couple of spelling mistakes are also noted like the word individual and susceptible. You also used a wrong word unsatisfaction, what should be dissatisfaction. Try to proof read everything after you have completed your writing. Excellent use of vocabulary and this is going to get your full marks in lexical resources.
-
Many people think earning high is necessary for a good lifestyle rather than work pleasure. I strongly disagree with (the statement that) peace of work has less priority than high package job.
First of all, we can’t buy everything with money like good health and happiness, where you work with no weight on you is a better place to work happily like what you want to do(this sentence is not framed properly). It helps you and your organization, where if you are working for a big company for a huge amount, (you always) have stress on you to complete the task in time. For example, sometimes you have to work even on weekends or holidays because your payroll is high and the manager is expecting a lot from you. But in the case of those who work what they like, finish job in time and enjoy their free time.
Secondly, accompanying family and friends in leisure are very prime(not suitable word). If you have time, only (then) you can spend with them, in profitable work, you have less time because you have to work hard to achieve the given task. On the other hand, people can complete the task very quickly because of their passion for work and will often enjoy their free time with family and friends.
To conclude, People have to choose their job (according to)what they like and what they can do instead of high packages jobs. Yes, a good salary is important to live better, but it is not always the same sometimes you have to realize (whether)is it your cup of tea or not.
Feedback:
Commendable work for the structure and thought process. However quite a few grammatical errors are noted and some of the sentences do not make sense. You need to work upon your sentence structure to arrange your ideas better. You miss a few words in the sentences quite often you need to revise your writing once you’re through with it. Try to use a few more good vocabulary words to fulfil the criteria of lexical resources and also only use the words that you are comfortable with. You made a mistake by using the word prime where it was not supposed to be used.
-
As I believe that job satisfaction is more important than earning a big salary, although a big salary provides us more opportunity to improve our living standards. I disagree with the statement that a big salary is more important than job satisfaction. my justification against arguments is given below. (Although a big salary provides us more opportunity to improve our living standards, as I believe the job satisfaction is more important than earning a big salary, I disagree with the statement completely.)
First, I would like to explain that the people who are satisfied with their jobs that (they) enjoy their golden time with peace of mind and stay healthy like professional and skillful individuals like(such as) doctors, engineers, artists, musicians, etc. as compared to the people who are driving themselves to earn more money, mostly we have seen that their lives remained to (be) disturbed due to hypertension, depression, and other health issues. For example, A skilled worker who is earning a reasonable salary against his time and efforts with ultimate satisfaction, he enjoyed (s) his life more than the person who is earning a big salary like giving an example of the Managerial position in the bank who is owning(who owns) a lot of responsibility to fulfill his duties and obligations at timely manner, usually, we have seen that these people are taking more pressure, tension, and depression. Another example of people who are working in the capital market, they are earning big salaries but take a lot of tension and pressure to manage the equity stock and forex trading
However, I am concluding my discussion with the strong belief that job satisfaction is giving (gives us)us more pleasure and joyful time as compared to earn(ing) a big salary that makes our lives miserable with depression and hypertension.
Feedback:
Pay attention to the grammatical errors mentioned and pointed out in the writing. The introduction paragraph is not according to the structure, you should never start with your opinion start with the paraphrasing of the question and give your opinion at the end of the introduction.
Apart from that you needed to make to body paragraphs instead you just put everything in one body paragraph which is not the right way to do things. You will lose points in your structure.
You could do more with the lexical resources by incorporating a few more good vocabulary words.
-
Some people advocates = advocate.
Job satisfaction should be the utmost priority when it comes to job selection
Don’t use most with essential.
Investing your precious life in jobs which does not=do not
Feedback:
The structuring is excellent you have maintained the integrity of the writing. There are few grammatical errors noted mentioned above. Lexical resources abundant. Conclusion could have been a little better the first sentence in the conclusion does not seem good.
-
The perception of number of people is big fat salaries provides (no s) more satisfaction over the job satisfaction. I am(I) strongly condemn about this thought.
First of all, money is not everything in our life. Yes, you can buy anything with the(not needed) money but (you are) unable to buy self satisfaction. If you are not happy with your job that you are doing, it means that you are not performing well & effective work utilization is less. The attitude is not beneficial for individual as well as to the employer. The same argument has been proved by national labor organizations. According to this organization, productivity of the worker is directly proportional to the mental satisfactions of the worker associated with job.
High salaries can give you happiness only once in the month on your salary day but rest of 29 days are like punishment. It has only short term benefits. I have seen number (of) these kind(s) of people whose bank balance are good but always feel tensed and compromised with his (their)conscience. This job frustration definitely tend to have negative impact on the family.
In my conclusion, Job satisfaction plays positive & important role in the life of the individual. This always has prolonged benefits over short term benefits.
Feedback:
Look at the grammatical errors pointed out. These are very simple errors that you should not be committing. The introduction and conclusion paragraph for decent enough. First body paragraph also maintained the structure but the second body paragraph did not do justice to your reasoning. You need to try and keep the length of both body paragraphs similar. The second body paragraph did not start with a cohesive device. You can work to make the sentence is more complex and include a few good vocabulary words there.
-
You need to write with a full structure in mind, there has to be an introduction which contains the paraphrasing of the question as well as a thesis statement which is your explicit opinion. You need to work upon your conditional sentences that we will cover in the class. There is nothing much I can say because of the short length of your writing.
-
I’m pretty sure that I have explained the structure of essay writing in class.
You have only written two paragraphs without an introduction and conclusion properly segregated. There is some spelling mistakes noted along with a few grammatical errors. It is really not enough content to give anymore pointers.
-
The content is too short to give a proper feedback, however the grammar does not seem to be a problem. The structure is not at all in accordance with Ielts parameters. I’m sure you did not have time to finish the essay but any feedback would be irrelevant because of less information provided here.
