Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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The natural landscape is allowed the …( Access to natural landscape …)
benifits (benefits)
problem might they is destruction of natural resources ( problem they might face) ; people are not going to face depletion rather these places will get destroy in terms of their resources.
organism(s) of bio diversity
The endangered animals would be happening ( certain species will become endangered)
I would suggest to highlight the opinion in one of the body paragraphs too.
Work on sentence formation as mostly there is confusion in subject and object , hence the usage of verb is also inappropriate.
Band: 2.5/6
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Feedback : All three bullet points should be presented with supporting details almost equally in distinct paragraphs. There is room to replace common words with less common ones (e.g : check etc.)
Band: 2./3
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There should be two feature paragraphs, 4 paragraphs in total
the expenditure of (on) consumer goods
Further(,) more than 400.000 pounds
UK cost (spent) less than France
make use of subordinating words to convey the comparison even better.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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Although France was the leading player on consuming Computers and Perfumes by a marginal difference of 25000 Pounds Sterling and 1000 0 Pounds Sterling respectively than UK. – data is inaccurate
There is no need to write conclusion in task 1 , rather the overview should be presented that too with “overall”
France had only a modest high in spending (France had spent modestly high on..)
Band: 1/3
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Overall(,) the people of
which is (are) in the mid-range
Although the least on which people rarely spend is on perfumes. – least and rarely both are serving the same purpose
perfumes which shows the lowest is around 150000 pounds. – perfumes shows what? the “expenditure” is missing in the entire explanation
No grouping and comparison of data found.
Band: 1.5/3
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Good. Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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Band: 2.5/3
Keep writing!!
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Bullet point 1, needs to be developed with some details
keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/3
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express my discomfort (dissatisfaction)
However, your company offers many promotions and discounts for your service, the lack of network connection is a serious issue among all of us. – the first half of the sentence seems incomplete.
From last two week(s)
half of their studies are going through online.(modes only)
So, I expected (expect) that your staff
Band: 1.5/3
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, it can be seen UK spend (spent) more on consumer goods – data is of 2010
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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sentence structure is monotonous and many words have been used repeatedly. There is lack of cohesive devices. Try to use variety of structures.
Band: 1.5/3
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Even through (though)
People This (these) Days
To Travel In There (their) own
Public Transports For there (their) daily Rides Instead Of (personal) Automobile.
There is no need to mention example in introduction.
More routing Destination’s (destinations)
They Should Have A (“a” not required) Proper Traffic Rules
Sometimes We Have To Be stuck On Highways For Hours Just For (because of) , Heavy Trucks Which Are (should not be allowed) Not Allow To carry More Then Some Weight Due to Which A-lot Of Incidents Take Place
To Stop Perevent (stop/prevent)
May Get More In Future As We Are Growing In Population. (population has not been stated in any of the paragraphs above , try not to introduce new angle in conclusion)
No example found in body paragraphs.
Make use of cohesive devices to establish logical flow
Band: 2/6
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internet in our area (from) last two weeks which has been affected (has affected) to everyone in work and study.- active sentence will be used here.
and use (using) the internet
offices have became (become)
internet play(s) major role
moreover when connection is getting alive it does not give a speed (and bandwidth which we are paying for) which we pay for bandwidth.
essential for the society so this issue has affected on (“on” not required) almost every person.
Band: 1.5/3
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At few places , there is need to avoid formation of shorter sentences instead try to use punctuation or conjunctions .
keep writing!!!
band: 4.5/6
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Additionally, it is no less than a dream for any grown adult to own their personal vehicle. However, this dream can be costly when it comes to living in a major city as a large population also means large vehicle consumption every day. (somehow this reason seems off the beat may be due to lack of valid explanation , but it certainly not in cohesion with the context given)
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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According to some reports, Chennai experienced one of the biggest traffic congestions in 2014 which lasted for more than 24 hours (it feels as example is incomplete , there was a jam but what was the reason?, by quoting reasons ultimately, you will discuss about the cause and hence there will be support to the cause mentioned)
There is room for improvement in lexical resources.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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number of vechiles (Vehicles) – spellings of vehicles throughout
Feedback: Answer is well- organized maintaining coherence and cohesion. But sentence structure definitely has room for improvement. Try to make lengthier sentences as it will result in formation of complex, compound sentences.
Band: 3.5/6
Keep writing!!
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The car drivers find it convention (convenient) to travel by car,
can leave at a sometimes – incomplete ?
pack (park) and -ride-scheme.
Feedback : answer is well -written in terms of task achievement, lexical resources , cohesion. Great improvement.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4.5/6
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Traffic congestions (congestion)
government needs to improve (in that – not required) by finding
The foremost problem (of traffic jams) faced by (people) commuting in cities caused by parking issues (, There) are people who park on wrong sides of the road
As vehicles started to park on roads, this leads (lead) to the rise in traffic congestions.- past indefinite tense
which is (are) closer to these markets
that parking on roadside be free movement for traffic. ((so that parking should not obstruct the free movement of vehicles on road)
had (it has ) become very easier for people to utilise these facilities.
To conclude(,) there are still facts
If the government and the people follow these observations on day to day basis, that (will help) helps further to get succeed. – first conditional sentence.
Feedback : I would advise to go through all the tenses and usages as confusion in past indefinite, perfect tenses is there. At few places, in order to write complex structures the basic essence of sentence is missing. Accuracy should not be compromised.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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This leads to public transportations such as metros and trains being fully packed (ultimately,) leading to increased traffic congestion (on roads)
enhance (encourage) people moving
No example found.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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one of the most prominent issue(s)
about the causes behind it and (like poor administration/ police) they are lack of it’s management by the police
its effective control by the rules and regulaions (regulations) of the government authorities and very wide roads contructions (constructions) (are the most viable solutions.- effective control has already been mentioned)
The foremost problems caused by mismanagement of it by police ( it should be about “causes” not the problems)
And also nowadays as there are so many vehicles on (in) the bigger cities
efficint (efficient)
sometimes lead(s) to lot of road accidents.
automobiles proper management (proper management of automobiles) by the government
Many words have been used repeatedly almost throughout the passage, lexical resources compromised.
Need to work on “sentence framing”
No example found.
Prepositions are faulty at few places.
Band : 2.5/6
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but due to over utilization, the common obstacle is faced by almost every metro city which is the traffic jam. (faulty sentence structure)
This essay will suggest that the main causes by (of) this phenomenon
utilization (of) the public transport are the most viable solutions
To begin with, the foremost problems caused by traffic congestion – it is not about the “problems” , but the “causes”
individual(s) are preferring to use (their) own vehicle(s).
there are number of reasons (that) lead to (not required) civilization for resettling in metro,
without leave (leaving) their hometown.
steaming the (stemming) traffic congestion
solutions could be taken (through) initiative by administration
Band: 3/6
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offspring(s).
repeated use of “also” in introduction leading to monotonous structure.
parent would show agreement
would never utilize it properly.
they would soon get another.
where he would....
a person would not be able to adjust…
he would not respect a
he would lose – repeated structure throughout the essay.
Feedback : Task achievement , coherence and attempt to use lexical resources can be easily observed and appreciated. There is improvement , but there is requirement to work more rigorously on sentence structure
Keep writing!!
band: 3/6
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Body paragraph 2 has not been developed fully , since the question demands “both views along with your opinion” Hence, the answer is partially developed.
Band: 3/6
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digital access in the education world have (has) opened
But somewhere I strongly believe (whereas, some argue ) that normal education system not only roots up the overall personality of a person at the same time curbs the sedentary lifestyle as well. – paraphrasing has not been done properly.
is perfect to built (build) one’s character
topic sentence in B.P 1 needs to be more effective and indicate the view you are about to discuss, but this response is too generalized.
No example found.
Band: 2/6
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The following charts shows (show)
I would suggest to mention other two categories as well in overall
gradually rise in 12 % (gradual rise of 12%) in the year 2011(
you may write the previous year data without brackets.
as it is reduced to (by) 9% in the year 2011
There is no information on food in body paragraphs , though it was included in overall.
Make use of cohesive devices to establish comparisons etc.
Band: 1.5/3
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There is absolutely no need to mention conclusion in task 1. Good improvement
keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/3
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The four given line graphs ( The given line graph), there is only one line graph
Paraphrasing could have done effectively, avoid copying the language from the question
of good(s)
There should be two feature paragraphs. Comparison among different parameters is missing.
Keep writing!!
Band: 1.5/3
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First bullet point could be explained bit more.
Keep writing!!
2.5/3
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Word count should be minimum 150 words , try to write 150+ words. Do add bit more explanation in order to develop your answer completely
journal – it may not be the right word to use for a book
I look forward to see you soon. – inappropriate tone for this letter.
Keep writing!!
Band: 1.5/3
