Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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lead unwanted to financial crisis. (lead to unwanted financial crisis.)
Introduction is just presenting your view , not the paraphrasing
Recently (,) my friend’s
Under-usage of cohesive devices.
Band: 4/6
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I happen to have (an) acquaintance with Mr. Boni
scincerley, (spelling errors)
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/3
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you need to develop both the arguments equally
evade the consumption of over packed (?) in our daily life
have to buy them to carry their goods back home (that’s how). That’s how it has
one’s preference(s)
However (,) if both the parties
work on formation of compound-complex sentences.
Use modals and passives
keep writing!!!!
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Kindly post the revised version.
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It is often discussed, (comma is not required) the growing world population is alarming and feeding
Thesis statement is missing in Introduction, making it incomplete
GM foods has (have)
if one look (looks) at it
so there are nutrition’s (nutrients) added as per the human requirement,
(they have )longer shelf life and can be grown in a smaller space / longer shelf life is an added advantage
(Moreover,) The benefit of GM foods are we can get different types of fruits or vegetables throughout the year.- make use of cohesive devices
it is consider ( considered) safe
(However,) The negative aspect (aspects) of GM food are (have) harmful effects – use cohesive devices
Cancer is becoming very common (has become)
Second body paragraph is contradicting the statement given in first body paragraph -coherence and cohesion issue
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on Project (project) that is nearing – Project is a common noun
the current project is almost complete, with only few tasks remaining. While working from the headquarters, I will ensure that all the remaining tasks assigned completed before their due dates, putting in extra efforts if necessary (required): slightly more formal. – This sentence could be presented as “Complex- compound “- will add on “Grammatical range
I will ensure that all the remaining tasks assigned(get) completed before their due dates
higher up’s for approval (ups- ? )
Try not be repetitive with words .
Band: 2/3
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Thesis statement in introduction is missing
On (the) one hand
attending university or college allow (allows) individuals
provide you ( inadequate usage of pronoun)valuable
prepare graduate (graduates) for their careers.
aspiring software engineers can (be benefitted) benefit from – use passive structure
Conclusion could be more structured
Body paragraph is actually negating the second school of thought , which leads to a question on cohesion and coherence
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leading to increased mortality rate : mortality rate is number of deaths whereas the question is about high life expectancy ( faulty usage of lexical resources)
Though, it is a remarkable achievement, it does cause many adverse effects.
Please note: Grammatically, though is not the “right option” for the sentence because though is commonly used in a subordinate clause (Though I am hungry, I will not stop for lunch), in a participial phrase
increase in (number of) elderly people, healthcare system faces increased pressure
Chronic illnesses like diabetes, heart problems and arthritis becomes (have become) more prevalent
results (resulting) in increased medical
. Also, elderly people faces (face) social challenges like loneliness and mental health i
share their their invaluable experiences to ( with) youngsters
increased mortality rate h – ?
Feedback : there is need to work on grammatical range (repetitive sentence structures has been used) , faulty usage of lexical resources has been observed. Paragraphing should be done more precisely. There is ambiguity while presenting the idea .
Band : 2.5/6
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e procedure involved (involves)
for creation of cement (“for” is not required)
er; moreover, (furthermore)
keep writing!!
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financials of it (it-?)
detrimental ( wrong usage , meaning of detrimental : harmful)
quiet (quite)
keep writing!!
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in the contemporary world,
in brightening their future
for instance (,)
which has developed the habit of budget management. in them
is introduced in the school ( , ) pupils
good attempt, great improvement.
task achievement , lexical resources , sentence range is there, be careful with punctuation.
Keep writing!!
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tone is appropriate so is the vocabulary.
Keep writing!!
Band : 2.5/3
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a year
I could not attend
to make up for my absence
not spent time together from last few years
it is the best opportunity
convenience
despite the……. (,)
while answering second bullet point, the tone is bit inappropriate.
keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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my husband will be out of the town that time due to some office commitments. (, so ) So, he can’t join me in that trip. (it can be a compound sentence) \
the next name came to my mind was your name ( the next name came to my mind was yours)
vocabulary could be better.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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i (I) am really sorry that i (I) did not
and (I am) planning to travel and explore new things with you.
Last week(,) i (I) had done shopping from
there was (were) some coupon
r i am (was shocked) in shocked
cannot (couldn’t) believe that my
one of the fascinating place(s)
It is famous for their (its) beautiful beaches
who came (come)
third bullet point has not been addressed, partially developed response
Paragraphing is inappropriate
Need to work grammar accuracy.
Basically, there is need to work on all the four parameters.
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the new housing system have (has) played
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led to the flourish (word form is not accurate) of many modern
there is (a) problem of
un built (unbuilt) land area
decrease (shortage) in un built land area,
hosing (housing) projects
which involves (involve) building of apartments in
modern houses all bears the same look. (all modern houses)
its dweller(s)
hence takes (take) away the dependency
(In conclusion)It is unfortunate that one has to let go of cultural heritage
conclusion should give an indication on reasons as well
second part of the question (opinion) needs more explanation
keep writing!!
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due to …….., has led to ( faulty structure)
material are (is) vulnerable
b.P 1 lacks the cohesion (the last part)
it (they) depicted
lack of cohesion and coherence throughout the essay
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they have lost its (their) touch with
that (older) the olden establishments had,
To achieve this (,)
as in future we are only (will ) remained
Keep writing!!
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increase of the (rocketing) land prices
people all over the world (are) purchasing those apparatuses
which is a (the) main reason of global warming.
according to me (I reckon)
keep writing!!
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rectify ( may not be the right word to use)
such a comfortable circumstance would results (result)
family meet (fulfills)
\they grew (grow) up like arrogant and stubborn
with its’ (its)
but also on jobs (on career prospects)
single parents often chose (choose) to loosen their authoritative rules
inept in (at) money management
Great use of lexical resources. Well-done. Take care of the points I mentioned above
Band: 4.5/6
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bad : detrimental, adverse
it also effect (affects)- understand the difference between affect and effect
changes gives (give)
people think (profess) that
metrological (meteorological)
people from other country (countries)
generating giving (choose one either generating or giving) business
tibet (Tibet)
I was looking for more affirmation in conclusion as in introduction.
Keep writing!!
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While certain individuals support the basement with (higher) education
elementary education.(schooling)
(On the one hand,) Work perfection can be obtained by experience alone. In other words, non-supporters
South Africa, for instance has, the most efficient and effective workforce even if the country lacks enough learning facilities
The activities (professions)
reputation ( productivity)
thus segregate(d) the CVs on file under
aftermath (its a noun, not verb) the company to suffer financially
specialty (specialist) doctor
n conclusion, the aforementioned explanation is enough to pen down that while some jobs require no further education than the elementary one, other sophisticated works indeed need skilled workers with good educational accomplishments. (change the order)
band: 4/6
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or instance, in 1980s, the researchers introduced a DNA modified wheat grain. Unfortunately, their cultivation had been stopped by the authority ( present this is as one sentence
? Its’ (it’s)
Its’ because the outcome is better than (that) of these drawbacks.
To recapitulate(,)
keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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In Introduction, similar sentence structure , humans ….. however, humans…… ( paraphrase it effectively)
make sure “r” and “u” should be clear. There are certain words which I failed to understand because of this.
second body paragraph has not been presented as question demanded , it talks about the solutions we have to combat the situation, but question was what are the other opportunities. It is inclined to partially developed essay.
keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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Although the law and order of a nation are (is) established
they did not bother (are not bothered ) about the judiciary punishment,
, if the court (court/legal system/judiciary system/law authorities) produce (considers) death sentences for serious crimes,
then this repetitive violence will go obsolete.( will diminish)
due to certain humanitarian concerns (on humanitarian grounds)
suggests (suggest) to go for minor
human are not ought to (should not/ must not)
I reckon
repeated usage of word “safety” , you can use harmony, balance, well-being, protection
Band: 3.5/6
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“pursued” may not be the right word to use here
rest of the things will be discussed in the class as certain words are not clear to read
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During these session(s)
I have explored different cuisines (keep it in “past indefinite” since you are specifying the time in past) including international and same time learnt about the various taste(s)
Moreover(,) the chef’s (chefs) and trainer’s (trainers) were well experienced
terms of flexibility and (requests for compensatory sessions) compensatory classes request made by students in due course of time.
specials (special) dishes
where in all of the recipe(s)
chef’s (chef) – need to understand the difference between chef’s and chefs
Recently(,) I prepared couple of dishes for my colleagues and they all like (liked) the taste, – recently is always followed by comma
my cooking today(;) however (,) missing the skills of baking , which is (are) quite important
I did shown (show) my interest
keep writing!!
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fully covered with (a) lot of
, I am excited to inform (inform may not be the right word to use here) you that
I tried different kind(s) of new dishes
Keep writing!!
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I love this course and learn a lots of new cuisine, – You need to present in “past” tense since the course is completed
which I had never know (which I was not even aware about)
form (from) a famous Italian
which help (helped) me a lot to understand basics of italic (Italian- proper noun) food preparation
two family function(s)
parsing (praising)
where me and many other students (where many others and I) can learn about the cooking practices
Feedback : There is need to pay attention toward past tense and it’s usage , cuisine is “Italian” not “Italic”
