Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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Do mention units of measurements in the introduction itself
where as (whereas) least was (were) transported
repeated use of expressions , phrases has been observed. More comparison of trends could make writing even more effective.
Band: 1.5/3
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Tone needs to be consistent and as discussed paragraphing is important keeping cohesion intact.
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like master’s (masters)
most of the course(s) are available
In addition to this(,) many student
example quoted in B.P 1 , is not supporting the reasons mentioned. I would advise to include language barriers as one of the drawbacks and then mention this example.
Permanent Residency than (then) their Parents automatically
. Other then (than) this (,) many students
In addition to all these (,)
although their (there)
A little more cohesion is expected in B.P 2, as health facilities and ultimately parents living with them requires some binding explanation
Be careful with punctuation and use of ” Then and than” , ” their and there”
keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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while overseas education has some benefits and ( , there are some) drawbacks (too)
it makes them more flexibility (flexible) to adapt the change.
however, overseas education has some disadvantages. (as well)
although (Although) overseas education is good (,) but (“but” is not required) it ( costs a fortune at the same time))is expensive at the same time
Make sure the first letter of the word after period is capital.
keep writing!!
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a person’s confidence level increases and (he) feels more independent.
immigration for their studies can not ( cannot focus on both )study and work, a
In conclusion(,) it can be inferred
Feedback : Answer is well-developed , range of sentence structures has been observed. It is fine to refer model answers before writing , but try to write ideas in your own words , ultimately it give you more confidence to attempt any sort of essay in exam.
keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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Because,( comma is not required here) parents are highly encouraged to send their children to higher study to any reputed institute (,) (by which they gain international exposure and confidence. – the sentence is not justifying the usage of “because”)
Because parents want their children to gain international exposure and confidence, they are highly encouraged to send them to o any reputed universities across the globe) – suggested structure.
new peoples (people)
That is the main reason (these are the main reasons)
for going (sending)their children t
university’s students (university student)
continuous use of short sentences particularly in B.P 1 and B.P 2., proof- reading is must to avoid silly errors. Work on sentence range.
Band: 2.5/6
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.In addition (to it), people from
respected universities as (and) they get to know about each other cultures,
Moreover(,) some universities
Moreover some universities call their alumni to share their experience about their study life so the upcoming future graduates will get some ideas. (too general statement, try to establish cohesion by mentioning ideas on pros of foreign education)
Feedback : Sentence structure needs to be improved. No example found, explanations could be better. Word count is 216 , the response in under length, thus limited use of grammar and explanation has been observed.
Band: 2.5/6
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foreign food chains and this trend is increasing among people (incomplete sentence)
various food items smoothly (smooth)
trade among countries (has) increased greatly.
To begin with, (not suitable as per the context, though in B.P 1, it could work)
Secondly, people (now) can experience variety
sentence structure ” due to” has been used repeatedly. Hence, essay has monotonous structure
Introduction and conclusion are well -written , there is clear overall progression. Task achievement is there. Work on structure. Be careful in opting the “cohesive devices” ; otherwise it would come under faulty and mechanical usage
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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“I” needs to be capital throughout
“duty” , “individuals” – repeatedly used
there are many reason(s)
there are many reason why some individulas (individuals) say that it is the duty of of the goverment (government) – avoid copying language from the question
the governments should enacts (enact)
factories sometimes dump (release) dirty water,
common water source(s)
contribution to protect there (their) surroundings and neighbourhood.
h individual may have a (an) important
if (only) the government
feedback : Make use of cohesive devices, sentence structure needs to be improved. Grammatical errors are there. Punctuation is important.
Band: 2.5/6
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word count is 169 , task 2 must have 250 words at least. Certainly response in under length
I strong (strongly) believe
and concern (concerned) towards
Feedback: Well approach, good use of cohesive devices, Content is acceptable but candidate needs to work on repetition as found more than two Concern, Less content was found, needs to work on thought process and few more related words. Inappropriate verb and adjective found that caused the sentence formation errors highlighted above.
Band: 2/6
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Feedback: Many grammatical errors found in every paragraph as highlighted below, some because almost every sentence is struggling to justify the meaning. Rigorous practice required.
My opinion personally is, Consumers are more obligated for the same.
every persons responsibility to take a step towards avoiding to buy products with more plastic packaging
you will biscuits packed in separate plastic packets
the plastic wrap saves the eatables to decompose
a shopping, and to value serve them well, stores started providing them a lot of plastic bags to facilitate the delivery
No Band Score as the candidate needs to work on all possible parameters.
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unit of measurement is missing
d estimated to rise till 22 % (20%)
proportion of population in 1950 and 2000 were (was) higher
sentence structure could be improved.
Keep writing!!
Band: 1.5/3
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word count is 136 words, certainly the response is under length
unit of measurement is missing
two feature paragraphs are required.
“Overall” is advised to mention in overview.
lack of grouping and comparison of data.
Make use of cohesive devices in order to maintain cohesion throughout.
Band: 1/3
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Apologize for not attending the yesterday’s important event “Green Day” as I has ”had” to attend the meeting
Reason is not appropriate
Customer called me in the late evening when I was about to leave the office .
One of my colleagues recorded the event. I will definitely watch it and share my experience.
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One of my relatives.
I got a call when I was about to leave , and I had to rush to his place.
Actually, my maternal uncle met with a serious accident
I apologize for my absence in the meeting as it was important to go there
Got unconscious
I got a call from his neighbor because he was saying my name repeatedly
I updated my team leader
Band 2.0/3
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I am writing this letter in regards to my absence in the yesterday’s award ceremony hosted by the company.
I am extremely sorry for not attending the event. (Opening line)
Old friend of mine suddenly called
(Reason for not attending is not appropriate) write about accident, medical emergency
You have been a great support to me since day one.
In order to catch up on what was covered during the event, I have scheduled a meeting with Mr. Sharma from organizing team. Additionally, I would submit my insights on the event by latest this weekend.
I hope you would excuse me for not showing up in the event
Band 1.5/3
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Students are getting addicted to such websites which distracts (distract)
well-written.
Keep writing!!!
Band: 4.5/6
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introducing it in students (‘) early career
only on (those) products which are essential,
so he invests money on (in) stock market
now it is (his) passive (additional- as “passive” has already been used) source of income.
effort to make lengthier sentences has been clearly observed. there is clear overall progression. Well established cohesion . But still expecting improvement in sentence range variation and lexical resources.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6 .
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The pie chart(s) compare the difference (preference of people ) in the means of transport for people who the means of travel to a specific
Work on paraphrasing , rest is fine
keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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Waliking (walking) and Train remains the least preferred method(s)
modes of transport remains (almost) consistent in both the
years,marginally rise (rose) to 4% and 6%
avoid using apostrophe with non-living things
car’s share ( share of the car)
keep writing!!
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The given Pie chart is (exhibits) information
methods of transport used (by people) to travel
We will illustrate and compare the changes in the modes of transport for travel; The units of measurement are used in percentile. (not required ; percentile is wrong usage instead proportion can be used)
During the year 2004(,) almost
the same no (number) has been reduced by nearly a quarter an
and only 28% people took car to reach university. (in 2009)
be careful with the errors mentioned.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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aforementioned above (avoid “above”, aforementioned is serving the purpose)
word “importance” has been observed with repetitive usage, replace it with other synonyms
keep writing!!
Ban: 4/6
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word count is 175 words, certainly the response in under length
Many individual(s) believe
topic sentence of B.P 1, is way too general , could be more coherent
should be consists (consist)
, many parents and family members do not believe in such way (It is an opinion based essay , don’t respond it as “discuss both the views”, rather than saying “while parents argue…” , you need to present it as your own idea.
limited use of sentence structure , try to expand body paragraphs with extended ideas.
Band: 2.5/6
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mentioned graph illustrate(s) the goods
they have some fluctuation(s) between different
reflects a modest increases (increase)
quantity of goods (transported) stated 40 millions
Try to maintain the tense throughout (I would suggest past tense in this graph )
Make use of varied cohesive devices and sentence structures.
keep writing!!
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it could be in one of the cupboard.(cupboards)
All the bullet points need to be explained with extended details and develop them fully and equally.
Keep writing!!
band: 2/3
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well-written!!
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/3
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It would be lost during playing a badminton with your brother in your garden ( I might had lost it during a badminton match…)
I wear this watch on (avoid writing “on”) occasionally.
when even (whenever) you got (get) time,
I will be traveling to your city on “avoid “on”) next week to attend official meeting
Make use of prepositions very carefully.
I (am) requesting (you to please) to you please search for
Need to work on sentence structure and make use of cohesive devices.
Band: 1.5/3
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Opening statement is not establishing the fact that it is an informal letter
I came there at (avoid “at”) last night.
second bullet point was on “Describe the watch”, hence answer has not been fully developed.
Yours Faithfully, (this is not a forma letter); lots of love would work
Try to extend ideas in order to make answer ,a fully developed one.
Band: 1/3
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response is under length
chinese (Chinese) household
Overview is missing
clothing and medicine represented the lowest category that was 9% (19%)and 4% (respectively) in 1995
money was consumed on clothing (Household goods)
I would suggest reattempt, it is not following the structure we have discussed in the class.
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that i (I) took a month ago
As (Even though) the course was for a month (,) but (avoid “but” here) i felt time had passed very qucikly (quickly) as i enjoyed the course so much
baking cakes and decorating it (them)
, i used this (these) skills to prepare cakes
dear one(s)
(Infact/ even) Everyone has even (” even” is not suitable here) praised me after enjoying the cake
yours (your) respected institute.
proceduces (procedures)
Take the points/ suggestions mentioned above. Proof -read is must to avoid silly errors.
Keep writing!!
Band: 1.5/3
