[isha]

Generally, most people have the opinion that students should learn languages at the early stages of schooling, while few others have a feeling that it can wait little longer. In my opinion, it is always better to teach languages at their preliminary stages of education. Anyway, we will look at perspective in this essay to gain more clarity.

It is well known that children are willing and can learn, grasp at a good pace compared to others, and this capability aids them in succeeding under the circumstances. Along with that, there is a common saying that whatever we learn in early childhood will stick with us forever, and I strongly hold on to this fact based on my own experience in life. For instance, I can still recall the nursery rhymes at present without any flaw.

On the other side, a few individuals clearly stand by the idea that languages can be taught at later stages without any hindrance. As they believe other subjects are more essential compared to the languages, students are forced to skip the other. Nowadays, it is very common for parents and school authorities to consider technical skills more vital than languages, and that influence is playing a critical role in this shift. We are living in a time where technology leads the world and society is forced to follow the trend, which restrains us from blaming those who keep language as the least priority.

Anyway, language is the primary medium that helps us convey our ideas to the world. It is miserable to be in a state where one has enormous knowledge and skills, however failing to convey it due to an inability to speak. This should be addressed at any cost by providing adequate training on language sooner or later in the curriculum phase.

– The essay is clear and coherent.

-Grammatical errors. Use punctuation marks.

Bands – 2.5/6

[isha]

Dear Sir/Mam,

I am Kanisha Patel, I am mother of Mann Patel, who is a student of grade 5^th in your school. I am very interested in volunteering for school science trips.

Thank you for taking such initiative for the benefit of the students. It would be a wonderful opportunity for us as parents to see our children in a school environment trying to learn new things.

I do believe I could be of a huge helping hand to provide students with a good and educative learning experience on the tour because I work as support assistance at Child Day Care, and I am used to being around kids of all ages and looking after them on a daily basis. I also have a flexible schedule at work and am open to contribute any number of hours required.

Please let me know if you require any more details. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours Sincerely,

Kanisha Patel

Nice attempt. When explaining your experience, give specific examples of tasks you perform at the Child Day Care center.This will provide a clearer picture of your skills and capabilities.Proofread the letter to eliminate grammatical errors.

Bands -2/3

[isha]

In today’s digital era, technology and devices have become a vital part of our everyday lives. Although the growing industry of information technology has been able to make everything easier and faster, personally, and professionally, I cannot deny all the side effects that have huge impact on our daily lives.

With the invention of the internet, we have our own virtual world that has brought people closer together than ever before. The web is a huge source for humans to share information, learn new skills, and constantly grow. It provides us with a way to enjoy the numerous sources of entertainment available online. We have started upgrading our homes and workplaces into automated systems that require minimum human effort to do tasks. Huge companies have started incorporating software systems to improve productivity and reduce manual hard work.

– The advent of the internet has connected people on a global scale, enabling the sharing of knowledge, skills, and fostering virtual communities.

With all the goods, it always makes us wonder about the other side of the coin. It is a very scary place to be so dependent on such technologies. The invention of media has made everything so public that people are now free to say anything about anyone from behind screens. Further, automatic systems around the household had made humans physically less active. For instance, there has been an increase in people going through some kind of disorder, whether it be back pain from sitting in the same positions all day or a mental illness. Moreover, with the advancements in AI and companies excessively using such technologies, there is a massive drop in human resource requirements, and jobs are getting replaced by machines.

In conclusion, information technology brings with it a huge elevation in living standards of humans on earth, but it is very
necessary to maintain a balance, and the extent we go to with this system to
avoid all the disadvantages that also have a huge impact on our lives, and for
generations to come.

Information technology has unquestionably elevated our living standards, fostering connectivity, convenience, and efficiency. Nevertheless, it is imperative that we strike a balance between the benefits and disadvantages.

Nicely done. Few grammatical errors are there. Focus on using specific and uncommon vocabulary words.

Bands – 4/6

[isha]

Without a doubt, new technologies, or what we can call social networking sites, have impacted communications as well as relationships in many ways. From my perspective, it cannot be denied that social media these days has created a lot more negative impact than positive. Therefore, I am going to reflect my own view of such an issue in order to confirm my argument through this essay.

First and foremost, Social media exposes young children and adolescents to unrealistic standards that might force them to push themselves to a certain unnecessary extent. For instance, if a person uses filters that can make their skin brighter or clearer, with these tools anyone can become easier on the eyes; however, that is not real life. People who see all this on social media tend to believe all of this to be true, and they can start having impractical expectations of themselves. This can often lead to body dysmorphia or even self-esteem issues.

Secondly, social media can create a false pretence for not just kids but adults as well. It is extremely easy for everyone to remain anonymous on the internet, and this can cause some serious security issues. It can basically open doors for predators.

To summarise, In my opinion, social media is a powerful tool for the world to connect with each other. However, it is imperative that it is used in a way that does not cause harm to anyone.

Nice attempt.

Make use of punctuation marks at right places.

Word count is less than 250. Elaborate your 2nd body paragraph.

Bands -3.5/6

[isha]

Many people have the opinion, that social networking sites are not helpful and have a bad impact on individuals and groups of people, I completely disagree with this opinion that social media is not useful and has a negative impact. In further detail, I will discuss the positive impact of social media for everyone.

Nowadays, due to social networking, communication is much faster, easier, and more effective, for example, due to advanced technology, people can smoothly transfer information throughout the globe within a second. It also helps several other industries to develop and make it more comfortable and beneficial for common people, like transportation, travelling, news, and more, with just one click.

Moreover, there are some major positive impacts that help the world become more connected and updated, such as the fact that nowadays, any student can take any type of education and information very easily, at a lesser cost, and for free, which helps them grow their knowledge and careers. After the pandemic, people knew the power of social networking and the benefits of it, but there were some minor impacts, like people wasting their time on it and not focusing on productive things.

However, proper use of social networking and technology for everyone in the globe can be very helpful and can eliminate the negative impact.

– You need to provide more reasons and a comprehensive conclusion, word cound is less than 250.

– Grammatical errors and spelling mistakes.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

Information Technology usage has shot up since the pandemic. Here we are going to highlights some of risk internet pose towards individuals and how social media have bad influence on the community. These days internet usage has lead to increased loneliness, anxiety, peer pressure, false information leading to violence between different religion.

First and foremost, social media has a huge negative impact on creativity. These days, school kids or adults have a reduced ability to create ideas, think, or analyse information properly. (Example) These days most of school kids have easy access to any websites for school assignments but a decade back school kids and adults goes to Library to read, gather information from authorized source only.

First and foremost, social media has a profound negative impact on creativity. Nowadays, both school children and adults have a reduced ability to generate ideas, think critically, and analyze information properly. For instance, in the past, school children and adults had to visit libraries to access authorized sources for their assignments. However, nowadays, they have easy access to any website, which may not always provide reliable information. – How is this related to social media use?

Secondly, misinformation about the real world, for example: Some news media give false information to influence political opinions and spread untrue information to fool audiences, creating confusion, violence among general people.

– Clarity and Coherence:
Some sentences in the essay lack clarity and coherence. Paragraphing and structure should be right.

-Language Usage:
The essay would benefit from more precise and formal language. Some
sentences contain informal or colloquial language that may reduce the
overall academic tone. For example, “These days most of school kids have
easy access to any websites for school assignments” could be revised as
“Currently, many schoolchildren have unrestricted access to a wide
range of websites for their academic assignments.”

– Grammatical errors.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

Few people are convinced that social media services have adverse effects on individuals and the public. I completely agree with the statement, because social browsing has more cons than pros. This essay will enlighten the reader on the negative sides of the media on people as well as civilization.

The unhealthy impacts of social platforms on an individual are mainly an increase of peer pressure, addiction, and the risk of being conned by the false information that is spread on the sites. Let’s see how peer pressure is developed in an individual. If a person browses the media and watches all the things shared about others lifestyles, he or she will gradually compare himself with others who barely know him, which in turn will lead to depression and also foster the tendency to engage in either self-harm or criminal thoughts, just to be acknowledged and respected in the community.

Another important outcome of its usage is addiction. These days, many teenagers are interested in getting more likes, subscribers, comments, etc., than others, which is leading to a ” win at all costs attitude,” whether by uploading inappropriate content or by posting wrong information. Because of this misinformation, society is being robbed in some way or another. Every now and then, we come across an article in the news regarding cyber trafficking and online frauds, just because we blindly trust whatever information is posted on the internet.

Despite all this negativity, there are a few positive impacts of social media, such as the study related contents provided and the ability to obtain up-to-the minute news. So, by limiting the browsing time, sharing what is relevant online, and trusting only the entrusted channels, we can reduce the ill impacts on this society.

– Grammatical errors

– Pay attention to subject verb agreement

-Use connectors like To sum up, moreover..

Bands – 4/6

[isha]

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing this letter in reference to the recent article about my hometown that was published in your magazine, which contained some incorrect information.

As the article was about my hometown, Hyderabad, I was very excited to read about it. Though most of the information was correctly mentioned,but few of the details are incorrect.

In the “Around India Attractions” magazine, its mentioned that Hyderabad is the “City of Diamonds” but in fact Hyderabad is considered to be the ‘City of Pearls”. People around the world come to Hyderabad to purchase the best quality pearls. Secondly, in the magazine it states that “Necklace Road” is famous for parks, but on the contrary, it is famous for the largest “Buddha” statue, which is constructed in the middle of the river.

Wrong information will cause confusion amongst readers and travellers who are willing to plan a trip to Hyderabad.

Please take the necessary action at the earliest possible time to edit and re-print in the next week’s edition.

Thank you,

Yours Faithfully,

Jyothi

Bands -2/3

[isha]

The picture describes the development of infrastructure in Felixstone between 1967 to 2001.

On the southern part of Felixstone, the golf course remains the same in both years, and on the north high street road, there were two different lanes of shops in 1967, but by 2001, one lane of shops had been converted to an apartment complex.

On the east side, there were farmlands filled with greens during 1967, but approximately 30 years later, farmland has been converted to a hotel with a swimming pool and tennis courts attached.

In 1967, fish markets, hotels, and cafes are located so near to sea and greenery, but by 2001 the hotel had been redesigned with space for parking vehicles and also converted the whole fish market place to a separate public and private beach. By 2001, they had also built wind turbines near the sea.

– Overview is not there.

– Word count is less than 150.

Bands – 1.5/3

[isha]

The map illustrates the urbanization of a town called Felixstone. There have been several changes between 1967 to 2001. Most notably, the town has developed into a resort destination, due to the construction of hotels and beaches.

In 1967, the southern region of Felixstone had a marina and pier touching the sea, due to which the fishing market flourished. Also, near the pier, there was a hotel, and in the midst of it all, there was a small café. Felixstone had its own high street in the northern region, accommodating numerous shops. To the west, there was a golf course, and behind it were dunes. Whereas, to the east, there was a large farmland.

In 2001, the marina, pier, and fish market were replaced by a huge public and private beach. This tourist spot caused, the number of accommodations to increase near the high street, more hotels with swimming pools, tennis courts, and car parks were built, which led to the removal of the farmland. Moreover, the golf course, café, and a few shops have stood the test of time, and the dunes are now accompanied by wind turbines.

Bands -2/3

[isha]

The pictures depict the changes that occurred in Felixstone between 1967 and 2001. Major changes are commercialization of the farmland and beach site.

Overall, the seaside town underwent a number of dramatic changes, the most important of which were the disappearance of farmland, the development of amenities catering for recreational activities, and the demolition of the port beside the beach.

In 1967, there was a golf course towards the west, which has not undergone any changes since 2001. To the east, there used to be farmland that was developed into a hotel, tennis courts, and a swimming pool in 2001. In between golf course and the farmland, there’s a high street connecting the main road with shops on either side. In 1967, shops on the right side of the high street were replaced with apartments.

To the south of Felixstone, a major swap can be seen. Partition of the beach into public and private, removal of the fish market, marina, and pier were done in 2001. Wind turbines under the dunes and car park near the hotel were also installed at that time. However, the café in the southwest has remained untouched.

-Grammatical errors.

-Overview should be clear.

Bands – 1.5/3

[isha]

Many people believe that the process of learning any other language should start at the very beginning of school. On the contrary, few people also believe that the learning process can be done later. In my opinion, children should be encouraged to learn languages at a very early stage in school. This essay shows the pros and cons of both sides.

It is a known fact that children are quick learners, and they tend to grasp things much quicker than adults. Learning a second language other than your mother tongue is always beneficial, as children are now going to different places for further education. Children are more curious to learn different things when compared to adults. But few schools have introduced a second language to encourage children to develop their skills.

Many believe that learning different languages should begin at later stages of life. The main reason behind this is that students at a younger age might not be able to pull it off along with their mandatory syllabus. And this can become a burden to the students, thereby causing more harm than good.

To conclude, although learning a language at an early age can cause some difficulties, it has an extremely positive impact on a student’s personal and professional growth. I believe strongly that learning a language will outweigh the negative side at a younger age.

Feedback:

– Grammatical errors

– Elaborate and give supporting reasons in the body paragraphs.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

Parents will do anything for their children’s happiness. Children get everything easily they ask for from their parents. But sometimes too much of anything can have negative consequences. Make your introduction clear.

Parents choose to fulfill every desire of their children and grant them unrestricted freedom. While this approach may stem from a place of love and the desire for their children’s happiness, it can have detrimental consequences as children grow older. My writing will discuss how this type of parenting approach can make them dependent and careless.

Some parents are so blind that they buy everything from gadgets to branded clothes for their kids. These habits of relying on family members can have a bad impact. The children developed habits of dependency on their parents for every problem instead of solving them themselves. These routines of dependency carry on when they are older, and this affects their work by taking their job roles for granted and not giving 100% performance in whatever they do. Every work they do or every product they purchase can be taken for granted without knowing the value, so these can cause major financial loss, or sometimes these habits can cause a high chance of unemployment.

BP1 – Indulgent parenting can foster dependency in children, inhibiting their ability to solve problems independently. – Topic sentence should be clear like this.

Also, some parents give their children lots of money, which can cause teenagers to get involved in drug purchases and drinking alcohol, which can ruin their health, mental health, and education. Most cases, like drug trafficking, drinking while riding superbikes, involve children born into a “silver spoon family since the children think that their parents will always be there for everything. This has ruined many children’s innocence, their future careers. In this adolescent age, they are unaware of what is good or bad for them, so they tend to do it repeatedly, even in their older years.

Parents can buy their children anything in this world; however, the duty of parents is to check on their children from time to time on their behaviours, should teach the importance/value of the products they are gifting to their children. Families should differentiate which products should be bought for children of different ages.

– Grammatical errors.

-Use connectors and use clear topic sentences.

– Essay should be balanced and structured well.

Bands -3/6

[isha]

2) Some parents buy their children whatever they ask for, and allow their children to do whatever they want.

Is this a good way to raise children?

What consequences could this style of parenting have for children as they get older?

Nowadays, some parents give their offspring anything they wish for and grant them permission to do what they desire.
Such parenting methods may have catastrophic effects on their child’s behaviour, and the child may view life as leisurely.
This essay will throw some light on the negative implications of such parenting and how it hinders a child’s future.

Permissive parenting is a poor way of raising a child, and parents need to understand the horrendous effects it has on youngsters, especially in today’s generation.Moreover, strict parenting is not the way to go, but a parent must learn to say no to their child. A child’s custodian must be firm, yet loving, as children do require affection.

Guardians who allow their offspring to wander about without supervision are laying up troubles for their children when they get older.
Due to such parenting, children are misguided when they are young and pick up ill-mannered behaviours that may stay with them, even in their adolescence. Another consequence of permissive parenting is that youngsters do not take their parents seriously and pay very little respect to them. Also, pampering them at a younger age may result in them being livid, even at the smallest disallowance.However, being lenient and showing affection to your offspring may cause them to propel in their lives, but permissiveness should be shown once they are mature enough to understand what is important for them.

To summarise, being overly kind is not really beneficial to your juvenile, and being firm with them in their youth will go a long way.
At the same time, showing affection to them and understanding your child’s thought process is pivotal for their growth.

Feedback:

Coherence and cohesion: The flow of ideas in your essay could be improved by using transitional phrases or linking words to connect your sentences and paragraphs more effectively. This would enhance the readability and clarity of your essay.

– Grammatical errors.

– Paragraphing should be right.

– Instead of using juvenile, use child or kid.

Bands -3/6

[isha]

These days, parents are not backing off from fulfilling their young one’s desires or restricting any of their activities. They are allowing the kids to do whatever they want in the name of freedom. I don’t think this is the right way of parenting, and this leads to the child’s inability to be independent. This essay talks about the right way to raise children and the outcome of pampering in the near future.

Firstly, raising children doesn’t mean to accept their every wish. Saying no is crucial in letting the kid realize what is good and what is not, and correcting them will also teach them how to behave. For instance, if the young one is stealing a pen or a toy from his mate, correcting him there and then will stop him from repeating it and also becoming a thief in the coming days.

If parents say yes, to each and every request he/she makes and turn a blind eye to their wrongdoing or behaviour, it will surely cause intense effects in his/her adult age. When they reach adulthood, they may lack a sense of right and wrong, struggle to make decisions, and struggle to stand as an independent individual in society. Petting them might look like loving them, but it actually spoils the young ones.

Finally, I conclude that a pampering way of upbringing may look good to society, but it will have a huge negative impact on the children as they face a cruel world. To become a responsible and autonomous person, the type of upbringing that involves denying and rectifying is important.

Feedback:

Check the words in bold for grammar errors.

Well tried!

Intro: I don’t think this is the right way of parenting, and this leads to the child’s inability to be independent. This essay talks about the right way to raise children and the outcome of pampering in the near future. You can say – However, I do not believe that this is the right approach to parenting as it can hinder a child’s ability to become independent. This essay will discuss the appropriate way to raise children and the potential consequences of excessive pampering in the future.

First BP: Mention clearly if this is the right way to raise kids or not,then give reasons for that particular side.

Grammatical errors.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

Most people feel that the process of learning a language should be started at the initial stages of schooling, while others believe that it can be done later. In my opinion, children should be encouraged to learn a language early in school. This essay examines the pros and cons of both sides.

It is said that children are faster learners than adults, as their curiosity to know new things fuels the learning process. Since children are moved on to different countries for higher education, learning a language at a young age can be seen as a survival skill for future life. The ability to grasp a language easily lies in the fact that brain formation occurs at an early age. Hence, knowing a language other than the mother tongue is an asset, and it is better to be taught in the early days of school.

Some believe that the language-learning process should be initiated in the later days of education. The main reason behind this is that students at a younger age might not be able to pull it off along with their mandatory syllabus. And this can become a burden to the students, thereby causing more harm than good. Also, focusing on learning other languages may affect knowing the mother tongue deeply.

To conclude, although learning a language at an early age can cause some difficulties, it has an extremely positive impact on a student’s personal and professional lives. I strongly believe that this positive side of learning a language at a younger age outweighs the negative.

Bands -4/6

[isha]

Most people believe that the government should concentrate more on lowering environmental pollution and housing problems to get rid of illness and diseases. I totally agree with this point of view. In my opinion, to stop the spread of various ailments or diseases, the government should take action to minimise pollution and housing related issues.

Environmental pollution is the biggest threat in this modern era. The alarmingly increasing number of vehicles emits toxic gases, which cause air pollution thereby resulting in serious health hazards. Most of the factories also contribute to polluting the air by releasing various toxins and chemicals. In many of the developed cities, waste management is poor, and waste is dumped in the water sources. Thus, these get contaminated, leading to the spread of contagious diseases. The government should enforce law and order to lessen the pollution, thereby saving the natural resources as well as the health of the common people.

In the present situation, due to the high population, there is a house in every nook and corner. It is very important to maintain cleanliness and proper ventilation in housing, as illness and diseases spread much faster in a crowded area. Waste disposal is also an important thing to take care of as this can be a pathway for serious health hazards. Thus, ensuring basic necessities such as hygiene, ventilation, and proper waste management can eradicate the spread of diseases to a great extent.

To sum up, I strongly agree with the idea that the government should take extra care to lower pollution and housing problems to prevent illness and diseases.

Feedback:

-Please check the words in bold for mistakes.

– Grammatical errors, like prepositions and the use of singular and plural.

– Spelling of environment.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

The following tables provide an informative understanding of international students coming for studies in Canada and the United States from various major countries in years 2002 and 2003.

In hindsight, we can gather an understanding that the number of students coming for studies in Canada and the United States increased year on year, while the increase in number of students was more prominent in Canada.

In 2002, Canada accommodated 5400 students from China, 5000 from the United States, and 2100 from India, with the total number of foreign students invited being around 59,870. While the USA had received 110,000 students from China, 200,000 from India, and 31,000 from Canada, with total foreign students standing at 581,600 in 2002.

In 2003, Canada received 45% more students from China at 7850, 9% more from the USA at 5450 and 35% more from India at 2835, the overall numbers saw an increase of 17% to 70,004. Meanwhile in the United States, students from China grew at around 6% to 116,600, students from Canada at 7% to 33,170; although students from India shrank by 9% to 182,000, with the overall numbers for the year increasing by 2% to 592,230.

Bands -2/3

[isha]

In today’s era, considering that modern medicine has become increasingly expensive and hard to retain for longer duration, people have started looking towards alternative medicines and treatments. While I believe it’s a positive development, it’s not without its risks.

Firstly, it’s increasingly getting clear that modern branded medicine is getting expensive on a daily basis. Along with its increasing price, it also has few side effects if consumed for longer periods. Considering these factors, turning attention towards alternative treatments and medicinal therapies like yoga is a natural move. Following through on such treatments can often lead to a better, healthier lives while getting rid of addiction to modern medicine. We can also observe that a few big companies are looking to sell more medicine, often at the expense of the patient, which becomes another reason for the same trend.

Although such treatments are getting more advanced, there are also quite a few risks involved, for example, in the case where alternate medicinal treatments are not taken on the advice of a doctor and are taken without any diagnostics. Also, we need to verify the sources of such treatments as being valid and not taken without any prescription. Considering these factors, we can also gain an understanding that alternative medicine needs more research in order to become more viable.

In conclusion, I gather a positive trend is being developed for moving towards alternative medicine and treatments, considering all the downsides, the profit-making culture of big pharma companies, and the connected ecosystem. Although it’s a positive move, we as consumers of alternative medicine need to be more informed and knowledgeable about such treatments and should not consider them without proper consultation.

– Use punctuation marks.

– If you choose alternative medicines, then use one paragraph for its benefits ,discussing why you agree that alternative medicines are better.

-In 2 BP, use name of treatment instead of such treatment. It will give more clarity.

Bands – 3.5/4

[isha]

Since the advent of information technology, it has changed all aspects of our lives. Although the disadvantages of such technology have become clear, I believe the advantages are non-trivial by a significant margin.

There are numerous advantages of information technology, one of them is the outsourcing of repetitive work to it, making the whole pipeline of productivity a lot more efficient and therefore reducing human intervention. Computer technology has also brought a revolution to the way we communicate, making it almost instantaneous, helping to save time and increase value. Since its inception, it has created millions of jobs and helped build some of the largest companies from the ground up, in turn changing the fabric of our society.

In any kind of technology emergence, there are also disadvantages, and information technology is no different. One of the most prominent is the increase in sedentary lifestyle, which can result in serious health implications like obesity, spinal injuries, and mental health issues which are not easily diagnosed. With the increased adoption of such technology, there is an increasing fear of job loss where people believe that their jobs might get replaced by computers that do the same work more efficiently. Apart from this, some fear disinformation, overwhelming information, and its effects on society increasing significantly.

In conclusion, it’s clear that there are dis-proportionally more benefits of information technology as compared to its drawbacks, and if we work to solve the issues facing such technology, disadvantages can be reduced to a negligible extent.

Well Tried

– The essay is coherent with its proper paragraphing.

-Grammatical errors.

-There is repetition of words, like information,increase, and disadvantages.

Bands – 4/6

[isha]

The following bar chart dives into the details of few major influencers and their following on social media platform, Instagram in year’s 2018 and 2021.
In summary, Cristiano Ronaldo has seen the sharpest increase in followers by the year 2021 as compared to other influencers who have also seen a sharp increase in following since 2018.
In 2018, Selena Gomez had the greatest number of followers being at 125 million approx. whereas Kylie Jenner and The Rock had their following count hovering around just below 100 million in comparison to the follower count of Ariana Grande and Cristiano Ronaldo which was recorded slightly above 100 million users.
Furthermore, in 2021, every influencer has seen a multiple-fold increase in follower count with Cristiano Ronaldo’s following increasing most by 3X to more than 300 million followers. Other influencers like Ariana Grande, Kylie Jenner and The Rock have also seen a similar drastic increase in followers to 250 million followers more or less although Selena Gomez has seen the least dramatic increase at about 2X increase to 250 million followers from 125 million in 2018.

– Be careful about grammatical errors.

Bands – 2.5/3

[isha]

In today’s world, a huge number of people suffering from health issues are taking medications on their own without consulting a general physician. I strongly believe that this sort of practice is a negative trait as it can lead to serious complications for the body.

Firstly, in my opinion, taking medication without considering your doctor’s opinion can lead to some hazardous effects on your health. For instance, people who are educated and do a lot of research on social platforms take antibiotics by themselves for viral infections without seeking consultation from a physician, and as a side effect, they get things like loss of appetite, nausea, and headaches. However, if they had considered an appropriate medication through a proper channel, they would have minimized these complications.

Secondly, I believe these sorts of practices can be dangerous in a longer run, as medical practitioners come with a good amount of knowledge of their profession and a lot of experience in their field. They know the issues with their clients’ health and prescribe medicines based on their vitals. For example, at the time of COVID people who were diabetic or had high blood pressure were given different medicines by doctors so that their vitals doesn’t shoot up, which can lead to organ failure or severe damage to the body.

At last, I would like to conclude by saying that some knowledge is always dangerous. Even though people are becoming smarter and have access to more knowledge through social media, they still lack experience in the medical field. These doctors of medicine have experience and have studied medicines for many years, so their consultation has some worth which is always beneficial in a long run. They do their work diligently and make sure the infected person gets fewer side effects from the prescribed medicines.

– Grammatical errors.

– Question is asking about Alternative treatment, which you haven’t mentioned here.

Alternative treatment like- Yoga, Ayurveda etc.

Bands – 3/6

[isha]

Technology plays a pivotal role in our lives, as many tasks which needed human intervention can now be done by machines. However, while this trend has both advantages and disadvantages, I feel it has more positive impacts on our lives than otherwise. I will discuss both sides in this essay.

Let us discuss the positives first: with the help of emerging technologies, we can solve problems that were thought impossible in past. The ease of convenience which we can have in almost all walks of our lives has its roots in science and technology. We can commute from home to the office while watching a movie and talk to someone like sitting next to him/her while being thousands of kilometers away all because of technological advancements. Many dangerous tasks, like going deep into a tunnel to extract some minerals can be done by robots that are otherwise hazardous to humans.

However, there are some obvious downsides of technology, like a lack of creativity, which takes away jobs before humans can reskill themselves. All in all, machines can be highly accurate in doing the tasks which are assigned to them, but they can not do things that require imagination and skills to solve problems that haven’t been solved yet, for example, inventing vaccines for deadly virus.

In conclusion, we can safely say that technology has democratized our society and has given us free time which can be utilized for doing things that matter to us most. Although it has some negative aspects, like making people less social, all those things are dependent on how we use it.

– Use punctuation marks.

– Grammatical errors.

Bands – 4.5/6

[isha]

Violent activities are being effortlessly managed in recent times. A part of community does agree to this, however, others feel there’s still lot of scope for improvement in this area.

In different parts of the world, we could find varying crime rates. In developed countries, we have flawless laws, swift actions that make them offence free. Nonetheless, we see a higher number of offences in developing countries where systems are not yet stable.Moreover, the type of crime may also change based on geolocation. For example, places with Internet access see a plethora of cyber misdemeanour cases every day, whereas remote areas see theft cases.

Running awareness campaigns in the society can help reducing the malicious practices to a great extent. We can educate people to be cautious about certain things, like using the internet or travelling after dawn. More importantly, we can spread awareness among the lawbreakers that they could get punished in a ways that could alter their entire lives. Perhaps the authorities can set an example by charging the accused with serious crimes, causing a wave of terror to spread among other offenders as well.

At the end of the day, I must say inhuman acts have taken a dip, lately. In spite of that, we need to complete certain action items that are pending on our plate. It’s not just government who should be responsible for eradicating the evil from the society, we all are in this together. We should all vow that we will neither indulge ourselves nor allow anyone to encourage wrongdoings.

– Introduction is not clear.

– Grammatical errors , subject verb agreement.

– First body paragraph is not coherent.

[isha]

Dear Sir,

I want to highlight a recent mistake in one of the articles that was published in the January edition of your magazine, ‘The Quest’. The map of the state of Maharashtra was depicted incorrectly, in which the entire district of my town was shown in a neighbouring state.

It is important to show the correct geographical boundaries of a province as people have emotions attached to it. Sometimes these small mistakes can take on political flavors, which do not create a conducive environment for peace, which we all strive for. Furthermore, your magazine is referred to by many students who are preparing for various exams, and consuming incorrect information will cost them in exams.

Please take official references whenever you are required to show any factual geographic information so that such errors are avoided in the future.Also, please make sure you highlight this mistake in your forthcoming edition so that your readers are aware of it.

Your Sincerely,

Bands- 2/3

[isha]

Dear sir,

I am writing this letter to inform you about the error in the article of international travel magazine.

This article is about the town of Jalgaon, which is my native place. After reading, I concluded that the information about public transportation is deceptive. The article states that there is no railway station in Jalgaon so one cannot travel by train to this town. On the contrary, Jalgaon not only has a railway station, but it is also a junction.So, it is possible to travel to Jalgaon via train.

It is very necessary for the magazine to correct this information, as many people rely on it for assistance in their travels. Such false information can misguide travelers. The right information about public transportation is very crucial while traveling to an unknown destination.

My suggestion is to publish a new article on public transport in Jalgaon and inform your readers about this issue.

I would appreciate it if you could please acknowledge this issue and resolve it as soon as possible.

– Focus on the use of articles like’the’

-Paragraphing should be right

Bands – 1.5/3

[isha]

Information technology is drastically changing many components of our lives and now dominates different activities at home, work, and surroundings. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of information technology.

There are numerous advantages of information technology. To begin with, it saves a huge amount of manual effort and makes human life more convenient. There are many software and apps freely available online that can be used to make our day to day activities easier both at home and at work. For example, tracking software to keep track of health, spending, and investments. Social media is also being used by people for different businesses or startups as a very powerful advertisement tool. In addition to this, information technology has opened door for better learning and job opportunities. Now people can learn anything from anywhere without having any geographical limitations. Working professionals can work remotely as per their interest.

However, information technology has some disadvantages as well, like serious health problems due to the sedentary lifestyle and some major cyber crimes. Using gadgets for playing games, using social media, and sitting in wrong postures for too long causes many chronic diseases like, obesity, eyesight and spine problems. Because of a lack of cyber awareness, online crimes such as online shopping fraud and the theft of important information are on the rise, resulting in financial losses and the theft of personal or financial information.

To sum up, information technology is extremely advantageous to humans. However, there are a few disadvantages also, but those can be avoided if we as consumers become more aware and intelligent.

– Well tried.

-Few grammatical errors.

– Avoid repetition of words.

Bands – 4.5/6

[isha]

Information technology is one of most significant phenomena of our daily lives and now contributing to our social and corporate activities.

In this essay, we are going to discuss the pros and cons of using information technology.

Undoubtedly, information technology advancements make human lives so smooth by providing everything at ease. In fact, nowadays, electronic devices complete our task in a single click. We can, for example, buy and sell items online, book tickets, and transfer money.Moreover, it also eases out daily work related things like AI, which creates opportunities in today’s world to sell and buy products or services online with one click, and it is also creating international opportunities.

On the other side, uses of information technology that make human lives unhealthy, like an increase in screen time, are the main reason for depression, as we’ve seen in many reports that today’s young generation is much more depressed.

We can also see a lack of human touch because today’s generation is much more focused on online interaction than offline interaction, such as students who prefer to play games online rather than offline.

Finally, we can say that it is physically disconnected people, but
it is creating opportunities of human lives and making progress in our dailylife

– Prepare four paragraphs.

– In your introduction, paraphrasing is important.

-Repetition of words and ideas.

– Essay need to be more organized.

-Use a variety of sentences.

Bands -2.5/6

[isha]

Feedback:

– You need to do paraphrasing in Intro para.

– Elaborate and link your body paragraphs with main ideas. Provide supporting details.

– Word count is less than 250.

– Use synonyms.

I completely agree that in order to prevent illness and disease, the government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.

With a growing awareness of environmental issues, the government has recently taken a number of measures to reduce pollution levels, such as promoting the use of electric vehicles and providing tax breaks to manufacturers and customers.

Houses without basic amenities, such as poor ventilation, lead to a lot of health problems. In order to fix this problem, the government needs to make sure every house meets certain basic requirements. The government is taking measures in regard to this problem, such as it launched the “SABKA MAKAAN SABKA VIKAS” Yojna, which ensures that every citizen has his or her own house.

Bands – 2.5/6

[isha]

Feedback:

-Grammatical errors, subject verb agreement.

-Body paragraph is incoherent.Give a clear topic sentence in the beginning and then elaborate it with supporting details.

Some people believe/think that increasing the government’s focus on reducing environmental and housing problems will lead to the prevention of illness and disease. I do agree with this statement to a great extent. However, I believe that not all of the health issues are avoidable, genetically transformed deformities could be one example.

In the past, it has been seen that officials did try to improve the environment’s health, but it failed drastically. One reason for this could be lower degree of focus. In my opinion, the government should bring in laws that require strict actions on members of society who tend to pollute the environment or ignite housing issues. After achieving the target, food, air wouldn’t be contaminated, which are major sources of illness and disease. Moreover, with proper residents people could prevent themselves from scorching heat or icy cold weather.- proper housing facilities

A study demonstrates that a person whose ancestors had diabetes is more likely to catch it than anyone else. Furthermore, lower physical activities and inappropriate choice of food results in more diseases than pollution or housing problems. We can’t just rely on officials; we also need to protect ourselves by making the right choices about what we consume and do.

Bands – 3.5/6