Faculty Isha Singha
FacultyForum Replies Created
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Violent activities are being effortlessly managed in recent times. A part of community does agree to this, however, others feel there’s still lot of scope for improvement in this area.
In different parts of the world, we could find varying crime rates. In developed countries, we have flawless laws, swift actions that make them offence free. Nonetheless, we see a higher number of offences in developing countries where systems are not yet stable.Moreover, the type of crime may also change based on geolocation. For example, places with Internet access see a plethora of cyber misdemeanour cases every day, whereas remote areas see theft cases.
Running awareness campaigns in the society can help reducing the malicious practices to a great extent. We can educate people to be cautious about certain things, like using the internet or travelling after dawn. More importantly, we can spread awareness among the lawbreakers that they could get punished in a ways that could alter their entire lives. Perhaps the authorities can set an example by charging the accused with serious crimes, causing a wave of terror to spread among other offenders as well.
At the end of the day, I must say inhuman acts have taken a dip, lately. In spite of that, we need to complete certain action items that are pending on our plate. It’s not just government who should be responsible for eradicating the evil from the society, we all are in this together. We should all vow that we will neither indulge ourselves nor allow anyone to encourage wrongdoings.
– Introduction is not clear.
– Grammatical errors , subject verb agreement.
– First body paragraph is not coherent.
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Dear Sir,
I want to highlight a recent mistake in one of the articles that was published in the January edition of your magazine, ‘The Quest’. The map of the state of Maharashtra was depicted incorrectly, in which the entire district of my town was shown in a neighbouring state.
It is important to show the correct geographical boundaries of a province as people have emotions attached to it. Sometimes these small mistakes can take on political flavors, which do not create a conducive environment for peace, which we all strive for. Furthermore, your magazine is referred to by many students who are preparing for various exams, and consuming incorrect information will cost them in exams.
Please take official references whenever you are required to show any factual geographic information so that such errors are avoided in the future.Also, please make sure you highlight this mistake in your forthcoming edition so that your readers are aware of it.
Your Sincerely,
Bands- 2/3
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Dear sir,
I am writing this letter to inform you about the error in the article of international travel magazine.
This article is about the town of Jalgaon, which is my native place. After reading, I concluded that the information about public transportation is deceptive. The article states that there is no railway station in Jalgaon so one cannot travel by train to this town. On the contrary, Jalgaon not only has a railway station, but it is also a junction.So, it is possible to travel to Jalgaon via train.
It is very necessary for the magazine to correct this information, as many people rely on it for assistance in their travels. Such false information can misguide travelers. The right information about public transportation is very crucial while traveling to an unknown destination.
My suggestion is to publish a new article on public transport in Jalgaon and inform your readers about this issue.
I would appreciate it if you could please acknowledge this issue and resolve it as soon as possible.
– Focus on the use of articles like’the’
-Paragraphing should be right
Bands – 1.5/3
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Information technology is drastically changing many components of our lives and now dominates different activities at home, work, and surroundings. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of information technology.
There are numerous advantages of information technology. To begin with, it saves a huge amount of manual effort and makes human life more convenient. There are many software and apps freely available online that can be used to make our day to day activities easier both at home and at work. For example, tracking software to keep track of health, spending, and investments. Social media is also being used by people for different businesses or startups as a very powerful advertisement tool. In addition to this, information technology has opened door for better learning and job opportunities. Now people can learn anything from anywhere without having any geographical limitations. Working professionals can work remotely as per their interest.
However, information technology has some disadvantages as well, like serious health problems due to the sedentary lifestyle and some major cyber crimes. Using gadgets for playing games, using social media, and sitting in wrong postures for too long causes many chronic diseases like, obesity, eyesight and spine problems. Because of a lack of cyber awareness, online crimes such as online shopping fraud and the theft of important information are on the rise, resulting in financial losses and the theft of personal or financial information.
To sum up, information technology is extremely advantageous to humans. However, there are a few disadvantages also, but those can be avoided if we as consumers become more aware and intelligent.
– Well tried.
-Few grammatical errors.
– Avoid repetition of words.
Bands – 4.5/6
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Information technology is one of most significant phenomena of our daily lives and now contributing to our social and corporate activities.
In this essay, we are going to discuss the pros and cons of using information technology.
Undoubtedly, information technology advancements make human lives so smooth by providing everything at ease. In fact, nowadays, electronic devices complete our task in a single click. We can, for example, buy and sell items online, book tickets, and transfer money.Moreover, it also eases out daily work related things like AI, which creates opportunities in today’s world to sell and buy products or services online with one click, and it is also creating international opportunities.
On the other side, uses of information technology that make human lives unhealthy, like an increase in screen time, are the main reason for depression, as we’ve seen in many reports that today’s young generation is much more depressed.
We can also see a lack of human touch because today’s generation is much more focused on online interaction than offline interaction, such as students who prefer to play games online rather than offline.
Finally, we can say that it is physically disconnected people, but
it is creating opportunities of human lives and making progress in our dailylife– Prepare four paragraphs.
– In your introduction, paraphrasing is important.
-Repetition of words and ideas.
– Essay need to be more organized.
-Use a variety of sentences.
Bands -2.5/6
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Feedback:
– You need to do paraphrasing in Intro para.
– Elaborate and link your body paragraphs with main ideas. Provide supporting details.
– Word count is less than 250.
– Use synonyms.
I completely agree that in order to prevent illness and disease, the government should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.
With a growing awareness of environmental issues, the government has recently taken a number of measures to reduce pollution levels, such as promoting the use of electric vehicles and providing tax breaks to manufacturers and customers.
Houses without basic amenities, such as poor ventilation, lead to a lot of health problems. In order to fix this problem, the government needs to make sure every house meets certain basic requirements. The government is taking measures in regard to this problem, such as it launched the “SABKA MAKAAN SABKA VIKAS” Yojna, which ensures that every citizen has his or her own house.
Bands – 2.5/6
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Feedback:
-Grammatical errors, subject verb agreement.
-Body paragraph is incoherent.Give a clear topic sentence in the beginning and then elaborate it with supporting details.
Some people believe/think that increasing the government’s focus on reducing environmental and housing problems will lead to the prevention of illness and disease. I do agree with this statement to a great extent. However, I believe that not all of the health issues are avoidable, genetically transformed deformities could be one example.
In the past, it has been seen that officials did try to improve the environment’s health, but it failed drastically. One reason for this could be lower degree of focus. In my opinion, the government should bring in laws that require strict actions on members of society who tend to pollute the environment or ignite housing issues. After achieving the target, food, air wouldn’t be contaminated, which are major sources of illness and disease. Moreover, with proper residents people could prevent themselves from scorching heat or icy cold weather.- proper housing facilities
A study demonstrates that a person whose ancestors had diabetes is more likely to catch it than anyone else. Furthermore, lower physical activities and inappropriate choice of food results in more diseases than pollution or housing problems. We can’t just rely on officials; we also need to protect ourselves by making the right choices about what we consume and do.
Bands – 3.5/6
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Information technology has various impacts on our home, work activities, and lifestyles which have both good and bad impacts. In the following paragraphs, we will discuss the pros and cons of information technology.
People nowadays are more into sedentary lifestyles and information technology, which have an impact on their personal and work life balance. As you can see, technology has led to an increase in the number of people sitting in front of devices rather than doing physical activity, which has an impact on their health.
On the other hand, if information technology is used properly, it can be very interactive and helpful, such as saving time, performing physical activities at any time and in any place, which is very efficient, and also if the internet is used carefully and specifically, a lot of benefits can be gained in one click.
Feedback:
Word count is less than 250.
Do not over complicate your sentences. Paragraphs should be fluent and coherent.
Avoid using too many ideas in a single sentence.
Word on your introduction.
Keep practicing.
Bands -2.5/6
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With the rise of technology and easy access to Internet, the traditional newspaper has lost its importance. I strongly agree with this statement, as nowadays everyone wants to save their time, and hence prefers online press, as it is more convenient and provides immediate latest news to the reader.
Firstly, online news is more easily accessible and convenient than traditional printed news. News readers can easily access the latest news on their smartphones at their own time while multitasking, for example, while travelling or cooking. Readers can also share the relevant news with their family or friends on social media. The online news industry, provides more short and relevant news to the consumer based on their interest and their recommendation, using various new technologies like AI and machine learning algorithms.
Secondly, in the conventional printed news, there are a lot of efforts required to make the news available for the news readers, like the tedious process of editing, printing and distributing the newspapers every morning on time. Moreover, it also involves a lot of paper consumption, which is not ecologically friendly. The local printed press limits the news to their states or country , but the digital online press offers the wide variety of news from all around the world.
To summarize, people prefer consuming online news as it is easiest and doesn’t require additional cost. I believe printed newspapers will be gradually replaced by the online press, as it offers a lot of advantages over conventional newspapers and is also environment friendly.
Feedback:
Well tried.
– Paragraphing is right.
– Word repetition
– Use synonyms
– Be careful about punctuation marks.
Bands -3.5/6
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Feedback:
-Corrections are in bold.
-Underlined words are repetitions.
– Be careful about punctuation marks.
-Grammatical errors.
– Your essay is coherent and you have used cohesive devises.
– Work on vocabulary words.
With emerging technology, news has become easily accessible to everyone over the internet and newspapers are no longer considered a primary source. With no second thought in my mind, i completely agree with this statement, and why wouldn’t I? After all, it’s an advancement in this sector, and furthermore, it comes with lots of perks.
Key benefits of catching up with news online include consuming it whenever and wherever you want, with the click of a button. One can quickly search the keywords and hop from one page to another with a slightest scroll. Moreover, it gives the out-of-the-box capability to mark the news as important and read it some other time. All of these minor details make it more convenient for readers, particularly those preparing for entrance exams.
A delightful experience comes with the features news apps have started to roll out recently, which include giving the user ability to grab the news in multiple languages. In addition to this, people can now tune in to the audio version of the newspaper. Imagine how beneficial it is turning out to be for enthusiastic people who don’t know how to read, however are very keen to keep themselves updated.
To conclude, i can say that newspapers have lost their importance, but for good. Adapting to technology is crucial in the modern era, and the style of consumption of news is no different. With time, we might get to see the features, which are hard to imagine now and believe me, they are all going to benefit people in one way or the other.
Bands -4/6
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Growing plants for food consumption and animal rearing can sometimes help budding schoolchildren to master essential life skills. While this teaches them a sense of responsibility and fosters a kinship with animals, it can occasionally have an adverse affect on their health due to the harmful chemicals present in the soil and further pets may harm them if they become too agitated.
It is very important to understand as a young person that how and from where we get our food, what it takes to grow the vegetables we eat every day. If a young person could comprehend the effort and time required to grow plants, then they would be more responsible when consuming the end product. Secondly, bonding with a different species, such as a dog or cat, can make young ones compassionate towards them from an early age,making them more considerate of other people.
However, gardening comes with its own risks, such as hazardous ingredients in topsoil that can impact the health of children. Unless the soil used for plantation is organic, it may contain chemicals such as urea, phosphorous, and sulfur, which are dangerous not only for the skin but also for the eyes. Threats are also associated with keeping pets, for example, a pet may infect an adolescent or may bite if not supervised carefully.
In the end, I would recommend that schools should start planning to introduce plantation methods and taking care of pets at a young age. Although it appears to be a straight forward task, we must ensure the health and safety of kids while doing so.
– Essay is coherent & good use of connectors.
– Proper paragraphing is there.
– Grammatical errors.
– Please go through your first two paragraphs ,I have used different vocabulary words to level it up.
Bands- 4/6
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Occasionally, people propose that children in primary schools should acquire skills to cultivate vegetables and keeping pets. Food is a fundamental and basic requirement of human life for survival.I accept that it is a necessary technique that all children must learn because kids will become more responsible by taking care of plants and pets when they take ownership. There are both merits and demerits associated with this topic, which we will discuss in detail below.
Firstly, there is the benefit of knowledge, which will have a tremendous impact. To illustrate, if primary school children show an interest in growing vegetables, they may learn about the various varieties of vegetables available as well as the essential vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients found in them.As a result, it will lead to better health standards. Vegetables such as carrots, cucumbers, and cabbage, for example, which are considered the best source of vitamins, can be grown at home because they are easy to maintain and play an important role in keeping children healthy.Moreover, while spending time with the animals, children come to know the value of love and honesty because most of the animals are very loyal and loving in nature. Research published by famous scholar H. Kimball suggests having pets like dogs prevents burglaries, and pets can help manage loneliness and depression by giving us companionship.
Despite the benefits, giving thought to growing vegetables and keeping animals has some disadvantages as well. The primary concern is the rise in health problems. To elaborate, growing vegetables must be done under supervision or guidance because children are unaware of the health consequences of mixing soil and seeds with some of the fertilizers, including pesticides, that are present in the soil and are harmful or allergenic to children.whereby children can be exposed threat on their skin such as rashes, itching, and redness. Apart from this, maintaining some pets at home would be an uphill task, especially for children, because some pets animals may carry contagious diseases like rabies, , etc., which can be easily transmitted to kids and may cause illness.
In conclusion, though there are some tangible benefits involved with this approach of having schoolchildren learn how to grow vegetables and keep animals.Specifically, knowledge, as well as feelings of love and loyalty. It has more adverse effects because of rising health issues among children.
– Grammatical errors.
– Some of the points are not required.
-Check corrections in bold.
Bands-3.5/6
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Migrating for work or a better way of life has become more common in the past and has increased in recent decades.Although, we are used to live in a joint family system due to circumstances , decision to move in big city has widely been accepted by the majority. This essay will speak about the benefits of migrating to a big city, which contribute to the development of the family and society in general.
With the impact of globalisation, the corporate world has expanded its boundaries to other states and sometimes other countries as well, increasing employment opportunities. With this optimisation of work force, the working community has been asked to migrate to address employment demands. Such movements have helped many underdeveloped states and countries in their economical growth. It was published in a national newspaper about how remote villages in the country have gained tremendous growth with the help of a few industrial establishments, which led to the development of the village and the people living there and an increase in notable employment rates.
Furthermore, not only does it contribute to the economical growth but, it also helps the educational system of a country at large. Children coming from a small village background are exposed to the best of the educational system, with vast knowledge transfer given to each and every child, setting the standards of education to greater heights. The privilege of better literacy is bestowed upon big cities compared to small towns.
In conclusion , I would certainly agree that the movement of people from the countryside to big towns or cities will surely benefit them as individuals and communities, considering the advantages of having a better living condition and providing better educational opportunities for the younger generations.
-You haven’t answered one part of the question.
– Avoid silly mistakes , subject verb agreement.
Bands – 3/6
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There are many school children who have no idea about how vegetables are grown or how animals are kept, which is why many people suggest that primary school kids should be taught these necessary skills. This essay will examine the advantages and disadvantages of both views and provide a logical conclusion.
The two main advantages of teaching children these skills are that they will realise the importance of animals and not to wasting them necessarily. Youngsters will have an attachment to nature when growing food and taking care of animals. They will not only get habitual about eating healthy, fresh fruits and vegetables, but they will also increase their awareness of not wasting food.
However, there are some parents who have concerns for the health of their little ones as there is a chance that they may encounter pesticides that might get dirty in the soil. Another issue is regarding the security of children because they can easily irritate the animals and get involved in fights with them. Some people also think there is no return on investment in teaching children to grow vegetables and keep animals, so they do see it as an important skill.
To conclude, although some kids can have certain negative effects like exposure to pesticides and dust, it can be taken care of by maintaining good hygiene and taking precautions. I believe that this skill is highly underestimated, and every child must go through training regarding farming.
– In Bp 1 ,topic sentence is not clear.
– Provide examples in body paragraphs.
Bands -3/6
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It is frequently debated whether to include growing vegetables and animal care as part of children’s curriculum and personal development. This essay will look at the benefits as well as the drawbacks of cultivating crops and keeping cattle.
The key benefit of incorporating vegetable gardening and cattle raising will provide youngsters with a greater sense of responsibility, experience and perseverance. This will allow learners to develop empathy towards farmers and teach them the importance of hard labour. Furthermore, by learning how to grow your own food will help them make smarter and better food choices. As a result, it will lead to a healthier, smarter, and more independent society in the future.
Despite the benefits, focusing on farming and animal husbandry has problems too. The biggest issue is the health risk . Using different chemicals, insecticides, and pesticides while learning might cause many allergic reactions. Engaging in this too much will also cause them to lose interest in academics. In addition to this, taking care of animals is a difficult duty since most kids are not aware that certain animals can spread a variety of diseases if not given the right care. For example, lately, ringworms and hookworms have been two of the most common infections spread by animals, having a devastating impact in a variety of nations.
To summarize, I believe that the downsides exceed the benefits. Although raising cattle and farming will teach them a great deal about personal growth and real-time experiences, the exposure to toxic chemicals is hazardous and can put their lives at risk.
– Well organized and coherent.
-Avoid Silly mistakes.
Bands – 4/6
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The given line graph describes various reasons causing air pollution in the UK between 1990 and 2005.
Overall, the air pollution due to all industries is decreasing linearly over the span of five years. Transportation, industry, and household sources contribute to air pollution, with the latter having a zigzag pattern.Pollution caused by industry, on the other hand, is steadily decreasing.
Initially, pollution from industry (5 million metric tons) was greater than pollution from transportation and households.Up until 1993, there was a slight decrease in pollution due to industry.There was a steep decrease in pollution from 1993 to 1996, and the slope of decrease has since slowed until 2005.
However, pollution from households and transportation was 1 million metric tonnes in 1990, but the trend later experienced many ups and downs.Following this zigzag pattern, from 1999 to 2005, pollution caused by transportation was strictly increasing, while it was strictly decreasing for household use.
All in all the total pollutants emitted in air have decreased from 7 million tonnes to 4 million tonnes till 1999 with constant slope. Thereafter from 1999-2002 the slope has decreased. Later from 2002-2005 the slope of decreasing has become greater and finally got a minima of 3 million tonnes of total air pollutants.
– Keep four paragraphs.
-Do not not over complicate lines.
Keep practicing.
Bands – 1.5/3
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The line graph illustrates four causes of air pollution in the UK from 1990 to 2005. Units are measured in million tonnes.
Overall, industry and total air pollutants decreased drastically over the years, whereas transport and household pollutants had more or less similar emissions throughout the duration.
Firstly, total air pollutants appeared to be under 8 in 1990 and began decreasing to 4 till 2005. However, transportation displays to be static in the period of 15 years, while slightly decreasing in 1999.
Secondly, pollution caused due to industries is just under 6 million tonnes and starts dipping dramatically to 2 million tonnes till 2005. Furthermore, household hazardous wastes emitted pollution of around 1 million tonnes in 1990 which continued to drop to almost 0 in 2005.
– Use past tense.
Bands -2.5/3
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Dear Sir/Madam,
I’m writing to express my desire to participate in the volunteer service I can provide as part of your school’s science trip.My daughter Shahla, who is in fifth grade at your prestigious school, informed me about the volunteer opportunity.I felt overwhelmed when my daughter told me about the volunteer job. I am well versed and have good experience in the field of volunteering.
I’ve been involved in various types of volunteer work over the last ten years, including serving as a hospital volunteer.On weekends, i work at animal shelters, like walking pets, etc. I feel content, happy, and satisfied in my life because I volunteer. I believe that my experience would benefit kids, as i am a very affectionate and interactive person who can gel with kids easily.
Furthermore, I really enjoy spending time with kids and would be delighted to meet new kids. I believe my presence will have a valuable impact on the kids knowledge.
I am looking forward to this opportunity and expect a positive response from you at the earliest.
– spelling mistakes.
-Grammatical errors.
Bands – 1.5/3
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Villages and small towns now have an older population as the younger generation chooses to settle in metropolitan cities and towns for better job opportunities and lifestyles.In my opinion, it is not a good sign as cities are getting overpopulated and villages remain underdeveloped. In this essay, we are going to discuss the negative consequences of this movement.
Firstly, when people move to cities, it creates tremendous pressure on the city infrastructure, including housing, medical care, law and order, which means more people have to be managed by authorities, ending up inefficient in everything.Some cities like Mumbai often struggle to manage their local population. In addition to that, everything gets expensive in cities because of differences in demand and supply. For example, renting or purchasing a house in a city is very expensive compared to a small village with fewer people.
Secondly, the countryside will not attract new businesses or opportunities because it lacks new age people to work for them, which eventually means lesser jobs for the remaining people. Further, the government will also not get tax money from the businesses or people to do a development, which will add more misery for the people staying there. To illustrate this, compare the medical facilities, job opportunities, or even the infrastructure of any rural area with that of city to see the difference.
In conclusion, I would say that economy should start planning to develop rural areas so that people should stop migrating to cities, add incentives to the businesses to establish so that better future and life with new opportunities available for everyone.
– Check words in bold for corrections.
-Essay is coherent.
-Repetition of words is there. Use synonyms.
Bands – 3.5/6
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In the current millennial era, where technology is emerging with several online platforms, the traditional newspaper appears to be the most consistent alternative for daily bulletin news. I completely disagree with this opinion and believe that a large amount of the population, which mainly includes the newer generation, uses online websites and applications to get news updates. This essay will discuss how print media is no longer a popular source of communication.
Social media channels are the busiest and most heavily used online mediums for staying connected and up to date on current events around the world.For instance, famous journalists and new channels have upgraded themselves to Instagram, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp and many more to keep its consumers updated with the content provided on each account. In addition to that, baby boomers and the silent generation have transitioned to downloading applications on smartphones instead of reading conventional newspapers.
Furthermore, newspapers are far more expensive mediums, whereas online news is available at zero to minimal cost. For example, print media requires a monthly subscription, and consumers rely on the delivery boy to read their daily bulletin. However, online applications are installed on your devices making it easily accessible. At the same time, online platforms are environmentally friendly, as they have reduced the cost of paper, ink and printing drastically.
To summarize, traditional mediums are diminishing with technological advancement, and people are eagerly adapting electronic media and online applications in their day-to-day life. Therefore, I am quite inclined to the opinion that newspapers are an insignificant source in the news industry.
Bands- 3.5/6
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Feedback:
News journals are becoming least significant in the 21st century’s digital era, with frequent updates of news accessible on our various devices, such as phones and tablets.I partially agree with this statement, as it mainly depends on age and adaption to technology. We will be discussing this in detail below.
Newspapers are playing a crucial role by providing detailed information to society and encouraging individuals’ reading habits. Newspapers have their own benefits. for example, while the information in the papers was slow but surely true. People can rely on the accuracy of this thoroughly tested information. More than that, you can read it again and again if you want to. And taking care of them is not too difficult. Newspapers are also reused by people, and are of great help in life, such as serving as decorations, for tables. An outstanding benefit when compared with the Internet is the cost. Buying a newspaper is far cheaper than paying for the Internet each month.
However, the advent of the Internet has given people great choice. Apparently, online press helps news seekers all over the globe access local news as well as global news published by a variety of internationally prestigious newspapers, for example, the BBC, New York Times, and Wall Street Journal. The availability of online news far outweighs that of printed news, and it continues to dominate the news industry.Online news must be adaptable to all ages, but there are few disadvantages.As older people find it inconvenient to read news online while continuously watching television, their eyesight suffers.
In conclusion, newspapers are still a critical source of information, but the Internet will provide news and entertainment that tends to be accurate. But the Internet has more benefits, so its more emergence is inevitable.
– Use different type of sentences. You can combine simple sentences .
– Essay is lacking clarity.
– Repetition of words .
Bands – 2.5/6
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Feedback:
Intro:
In the current digital era, Internet has evolved into the most significant aspect of our daily lives. Currently, virtual newspapers …
BP1 : First and foremost, reading news online has the advantage of being easily available and convenient to read. Digital news on the internet is constantly refreshed, whereas newspaper content is limited in its freshness.
– Well organized.
– Coherent and right use of connectors.
– Add examples in your body paragraphs.
Keep practicing .
Bands : 4/6
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Now days, most people are busy in the bigger cities and have less time to read newspaper but still newspaper is most reliable source of news and has major share in the smaller parts of the country where internet connectivity is limited. In this essay, we are going to discuss the importance of a newspaper.
Intro: Paraphrase the question statement. In an agree or disagree essay, clearly state your position.
Newspapers are published by trusted and reputed press that have been in business for many years and ensure their image is not tainted by any misleading information. Further, before printing the news they do a detailed quality check to make sure quality of the published contents. One example is when internet channels reported on a celebrity murder case based on their own assumptions, which were later confirmed by the newspaper and confirmed by the police.Hence, news over the internet is not owned by anyone in most cases.
Today in India, internet is yet to penetrate smaller cities, towns and villages and people still rely on the newspaper as a source of daily news. Even if they have access to the internet, they lack the internet literacy required to read news on the internet. According to a survey, the majority of people in the small Indian city of Bihar, where local newspapers have 80% of the market share, get their daily news from these newspapers.
In the end, I would say that internet news is taking over the newspaper fast, but still, the newspaper is trusted among all sources and has its own convenience when it comes to reading news. Whether it’s a city or a village, newspaper continue to be an important source of news delivery mechanism.
In body paragraphs, the flow should be: topic sentence – explanation – example, and closure.
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Feedback:
Please check words marked in bold for corrections.
Nowadays advertising is considered to be the big cause for huge sales of consumer goods as it communicates the potential benefits of a product. In this essay, we are going to discuss the reasons why advertising is so important for consumer goods sales.
Advertising allows a product to reach a wide range of audience and demonstrate all of the potential benefits of using the brand. With the help of media such as television, social media, or radio, one can broadcast advertisements with all of the benefits they can provide to people locally or globally. For example, the IELTS application developed in India was advertised on social media, assisting people globally.Hence, people get to know the product and their potential advantages through advertisement which add up to sales in a big way.
People get influenced by what they see advertised by their favourite sportsperson or a celebrity, which ultimately pushes them towards making a purchase of an advertised product.It has been observed that many famous people appear in advertisements on television or in print media describing the potential benefits of a product, such as a Hollywood actress promoting a skin care product and convincing viewers that their skin will look like hers after using the product, resulting in the product being purchased by many viewers.
In the end, I will say that advertisement plays a big role in increasing sales as product not only reach a wider audience but also people get influenced by what they see and end up purchasing those products.
– Repetition of words , like products , sales, benefits.
-Use synonyms like , goods, items, brand , merchandise.
-Errors while using articles.
– There is clarity in your essay, which is good.
Bands- 3.5/6
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Feedback:
Good use of vocab.
Essay is coherent and clarity is there.
You need to elaborate and provide supporting ideas. Word count is less than 250.
Bands – 3.5/6
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Feedback:
– Well tried.
-paragraphing is right.
– Repetition of ideas and words.
-Use synonyms
– Use variety of sentences.
Nowadays, more and more people are getting updated with current affairs through social media. However, there are groups of individuals who believe in getting information from traditional sources such as newspapers. I completely disagree with this statement that newspapers will remain a prominent source of information for the majority of people. And I believe that there are many great sources that can replace the newspaper completely in the coming years.
Newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. The major drawback of newspapers is that they do not come up with the latest news; information from the newspaper is already days old when we get to read it. On the other hand, online sources of news can provide us with the latest news and information from time to time. Another drawback of newspapers over social media is their lack of convenience. Newspapers are not convenient at all; they are not handy like smartphones; we cannot carry them everywhere with us, and we cannot open them anywhere and start to read them. But that’s not the case for digital media; you can carry your smartphone anywhere with you and access the news from every corner of the world.
But there is a group of people who still love to consume information through print media. Newspapers are still a popular source of information for the older generation. The reason for the popularity of newspapers among the older generation is that they are not that tech-savvy. They still love the old ways to get things done. On the other hand, the majority of people, especially the new generation, love to get informed through social media. They are not very comfortable reading newspapers; what they like is interactive news, which they can get through social media or other digital media.
In conclusion, digital media has the upper hand over newspapers in every way, and in the coming years, it will completely replace them and become the preferred source of information for everyone.
Bands – 3/6
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Feedback :
Corrections are marked in bold.
– Essay is coherent, and clarity is there.
– Good use of cohesive devices.
– A proper noun, such as “Facebook,” will be included in the bullet.
– Pay attention to punctuation marks.
It is often believed that lots of people prefer newspapers as a primary source, even though an increasing number of people read the news on the internet. I completely disagree with the statement as I think that newspapers are rather slow when compared to recent technology.
First of all, I consider that delayed information is similar to undelivered information. The process of new delivery in a local daily is a tedious process and it requires comparatively more time when compared to that of a social media, which is just type and send. For example, there are even Facebook pages which acts as popular news platforms where any member of the group could update news instantly, along with the video of the event. That said, it is good to enjoy the swiftness of technology offered by the online media.
Secondly, online news provides an opportunity to share personal comments and provide reactions to each bulletin. In other words, the real emotions of the public could be weighed from those reactions and comments. Newspapers, on the other hand, are not as interactive as social media. For instance, ANI News, which is a leading online bulletin platform, publishes its news on Facebook, Twitter, and other platforms that support comments and reactions. There have also been instances of popular celebrities making comments and providing feedback, which has resulted in sensational news. So, interaction is a newest and best feature which the newspaper won’t ever be able to bring about.
To conclude, I strongly believe that newspapers won’t be a primary source of news for the majority community anymore as it is getting replaced by online bulletins day by day. This is because of its speed of news delivery and enhanced discussion possibilities within the online platform.
Bands – 3.5/6
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Feedback:
Body paras:
In 2018, Selena Gomez has the most believers, approximately 150, whereas The Rock and Kylie Jenner have followers just below 100. Ariana Grande and Selena Gomez, on the other hand, have fan bases of over 100 million.
Furthermore, there was a threefold increase in the number of admirers in 2021 compared to 2018. While Kylie Jenner and Selena Gomez grew their fan bases to around or slightly less than 250 million, The Rock and Ariana Grande were able to take it up to $250 million and above. However, Cristiano Ronaldo appeared to have an outrageous amount of believers about more than 300 million.
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Feedback:
The bar chart provides information about the popularity of well-known Instagram accounts in millions between 2018 and 2021.
Overall, the number of followers for all these accounts nearly tripled during the course of 2018 to 2021.
BP1 – In 2018, Selena Gomez had by far the most followers at 125 million, more than Ariana Grande (112 million) and Ronaldo (110 million). On the other hand, Kylie’s followers were just under 100 million in 2018, and The Rock’s were slightly lower at around 95 million.
BP2 – By 2021, Selena’s follower count had nearly doubled to 245 million, while Ronaldo’s surged to lead all celebrities at 315 million and Ariana Grande increased more than twofold to 251 million.
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To begin with, nowadays the latest inventions play a crucial role in technical development projects all over the world. In this essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of machine labour versus human labour in order to advance modern technologies.
Today, all global corporations expect efficacy. Therefore, the concept of artificial intelligence takes first place by introducing robotics, which helps in implementing recent skills. Robots are primarily useful for producing more output with less effort. As with humans, there will be no errors for androids such as the calculations and measurements are accurate, which is not possible for humans. These perfect outcomes will help the sectors make decisions more effectively and efficiently.
On the other hand, the shortage of jobs for people results in an increase in unemployment, which threatens the developed countries as well. Even though robots help complete tasks in less time, their manufacturing costs are very high. There are many scientists who can come up with new solutions, which increase the organization’s economy and boost its reputation. Although there are a few human errors while implementing the code, they can resolve all those issues with their advanced knowledge to provide the desired output.
In conclusion, while there are benefits to using machines to execute the most recent development techniques, the necessity of human beings also deserves a better place in order to balance the global work life for better advancements.
Feedback:
Intro:
You can start your essay directly with ‘nowadays.’
Clearly state your opinion .
Here we don’t need furthermore in the beginning of BP 1st.
In BP 2, transitioning from one point to another is important.
BP2 is not clear.
Bands – 3/6
