Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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Transfer by Pipeline mode showed steep increase from 1974 to 1982 and (after that) consistently around 20 million goods were transferred by this mode every year till 2002.
Waterway and Rail and the number stands at (beyond) 60 million and 40 million tonnes respectively.
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Clear progression , comparison of data can be clearly observed. Mention the units of measurements in introduction itself
Keep writing!!
Band: 2.5/3
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financial literacy is the ( avoid “the” here) essential for each individual’s life
I will discuss the advantages of the money management in the following paragraphs. ( I will discuss how money management as a subject can help students to understand the…..)
Money management is something which not everyone gets to understand easily (;) however (,) if we start teaching
If the young generation starts savings at the early stage (,) they can create wealth over a period with the compounding of their savings
Mr. Warren Buffet that “if you buy the things you don’t need today; you have to sale the things you need tomorrow”. – avoid such quotes as these are learned ones, you need to present ideas in own words.
If the student’s start’s (starts) saving from early
feedback : Mostly conditional sentences have been used (almost everywhere) , try to use other structures as well. Be cautious with punctuation marks.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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However, after (no need of “after” here) the consecutive rainfall for past 24 hours has resulted in leaking of water from roof
expected to deteriorate further due to the upcoming of winter season. (upcoming winter season)
I hope the issues are (will be ) addressed
make sure you explain all the three bullet points in distinct paragraphs.
Keep writing!!
band: 2/3
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more and more office(s) are
l definetely (definitely) have a brightp (bright) future
I will elaborate on (avoid on) my views
there are more and more office are adopting an open-space design for employees. While it is not accepted by all the companies currently (avoid period here, and make it as a single complex sentence using while)
an opening (open) design for the working environment
people who are working in an open place it (is) easier
will evntually (eventually) bring
working in an open-space environment bring(s)
Be cautious with typing errors, proof read is must
Try to avoid spelling errors.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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Although separate cabins can be pleasant to work, but (avoid) employees can get influenced from distractions like social networking sites, which (and it) can bring their productivity down.
stop spreading due to this employee(s) were asked to
To conclude, although open-space design has its advantages like employee interaction, team building and low operational cost; however, in the pandemic’s viruses can spread easily which can affect organization profits. I believe these advantages outweigh disadvantages. (To conclude, although operational costs and exposure to viruses is more prevalent in open space layouts , these can be handled with suitable measures; however, the advantages like employee interaction , team building certainly outweigh the drawbacks)
Feedback : great improvement, try to improvise first B.P as well keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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access to obscenic content to (by) children
however by following strategies like checking the authenticity of websites before sharing the sensitive information and government enforcing the vigilant rules to ban or restrict vulnerable websites. (these issues can be mitigated)
tech giant facebook (Facebook)
Furthermore (,) internet has paved the way
must be carefull (careful)
Try to manage the question in 40 minutes. Repetitive usage of vocabulary has been observed, make use of synonyms and rephrase the sentences.
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despite some drawbacks (,) the open space designs are more effective
There has been clear overall progression, task achievement has been achieved.
Use of cohesive devices has been observed, but try to make lengthier sentences.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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,installations of different equipment(s) and facilities in an open design are esay.(easy)
fewer air-cons (conditioners)
in case of an office that has an (a) lot of rooms, (such devices) are required for each room (to have an air-con and internet facility – repetitive usage)
as long as a building’s cost (operational cost) matters.
work on lexical resources and sentence structure, Try to make complex , compound , conditional sentences. make use of cohesive devices
Band: 3/6.
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I am ohmkar (Ohmkar)
cyclone nilofer (Nilofer)
but now if we see our surroundings it was (is) horrible .
when you will be (will) sought out problem – future indefinite tense
drainage near to my premises and (as) we are experiencing bad smell is coming out of it.
as they were (are) experienced,
Yours faithfully, (sincerely)
Keep writing!!
Band:2/3
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Dear Sir / Madam, ( it is a semi-formal letter, you may mention recipient’s name)
the windows in (on) the first floor of the house.
There has been overall progression throughout , appreciated.
Try to avoid making shorter sentences, use compound , complex sentences.
keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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Most people think governments could be held accountable for safeguarding environment. (while some argue) some people argue that every individual should be liable for it.
While governments can encourage factories to shift to countryside. (,) I believe that people should limit themselves from fossil fuel driven vehicles.
In my opinion, this is a sensitive issue (as it is deteriorating every day.) which should (and needs to ) be dealt by both individuals and governments (collectively) (as it is deteriorating every day.- remove it)
It is (the) authorities (which) should make legislation to mitigate
each person plays (an) important role on (in protecting the) environment
humans are heavily (have) reliance on fossil fuel energy
Try to avoid making short sentences
Band: 3.5/6
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were very warmth (warm)
road trip from Manali to Ladakh is (was) so refreshing that made my day
I was completely obsessed with sightseeing (we enjoyed)
add few details about watch too (second bullet point)
When he returns home discuss with him and ( please) send the watch through courier.
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As compare to
More harmful
Which can cause
while genetically modifies (modified) plant
Repetitive usage of certain words ( like normal, compared etc), try to level up the vocabulary by using less common synonyms.
Keep writing!!
Total words:: 267
4/6
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Repetition of words. Sentence structure needs to be improved , try to use variety of structures.
Conclusion should not talk about the new angle ( that has not discussed in body paragraphs)
No example found .
Lack of cohesive devices
Lack of lexical Resources
Total words :261
Band: 3/6
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I am writing this letter to express my pleasure in the (about the) culinary class in which I (was) enrolled at your institute (about) a month ago, and for your considerations for my (share my) feedback about it.
in addition to (this, these days I usually try other recipes for my family every weekend) evercooking a few other recipes for my family every weekend since the end of the class
It would be great if the institute (starts providing )provided baking classes (too), specifically done with chocolate and people will (surely) enroll in this course( if you include it.- not required)
I am thankful to you (for) providing me
work on sentence formation.
keep writing!!
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[use both expression of greetings Sir/Madam for formal letters]
I am writing this letter to complaint about (a product that I have recently purchased from your online portal and surprisingly , it is received in a damaged/broken condition) a broken product received recently bought from your online portal.
Last Sunday, I have ordered (order) a digital camera Nikon D3500 with the cost of INR- use past indefinite tense in such situation
[after I had unpacked the package I found out that/I was highly disappointed with the services and quality assurance from the company]
I ordered it for my trip but it (was quite disappointing as it turns out to be useless for me)) disappointed because of it was useless to me.
Now I want to return it as my trip was (is) over
, I (am) requesting to you please make arrangement(s) of (its) return as soon as possible and refund my money
[yours faithfully]
work more on grammatical errors /use range of lexical terms to explain points and try to develop the bullet points with explanation as word count is 141 words, hence it is under length which is a question on Task achievement
keep writing!
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I am writing this letter to give my feedback and requesting a refund, (avoid comma) regarding a mug I recieved (received) yesterday
[avoid any kind of attachment details or documents mentioning in the letter like this]
[yours faithfully-formal letters, especially when recipient’s name is unknown]
add more of lexical words to have a balanced explained content. Different sentence range will make writing even more effective
well tried.
keep writing!!!
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which i brought two month ago [which I had purchased]
[I had ordered it online]
[use capital I while representing the answer]
But after two months its mike (mic)/ [the sound system started troubleshooting/functional disruption/]
.However nobody has send till date [nobody has been sent for any repair or customer support]
Therefore to resolve the issue i would appreciate if you replace (this) with the new laptop (or else I have to take..)
[yours faithfully,] add full name
work on well explained sentence range and synonyms.
The question is about the item received is broken , not about “after sales service”, that’s the reason content of the answer is not appropriate
work on the errors!!
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n the growing years of person’s life when he/she is facing life’s challenges to keep up in the society. (full stop has been used inappropriately, a comma will do the continuation of sentence) There are lot of schools, coming up with idea.
Although, (Moreover,) overall personality development and optimistic (optimism) are the most prominent reasons
Admittedly, being awarded will stimulate their confidence and help them to (advocate their ideas among others ) become optimistic in life,– optimism has already been discussed in above paragraph
Thus (Whereas), punishment doesn’t seems to be a solution for a students, in fact it will impact them in a traumatised way
Be cautious while choosing the cohesive device and punctuation.
band: 3.5/6
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being fear (fearful about failure) of failure.
they feel more respected and it boosts their confidence. (full stop is not required aswhich is helping in connecting the sentence) Which eventually help’s (helps) them
it increases the ones(one’s) confidence
I believe, if explanation or topic sentence of second body paragraphs talked about negative impacts of punishment , then it could add more cohesion between idea and example mentioned, utlimately more justice to question.
keep writing!!
Band: 3.5/6
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Yes, I completely agree with the above statement. (This statement is redundant, you need to put thesis statement in introduction itself)
they had find (found)
Taking everything into consideration, i want to conclude ( To conclude, I believe…)
There has been an effort to use complex sentences, but unfortunately the usage of “which” is only adopted. There is huge list of conjunctions and cohesive devices which can create cohesion among sentences meaningfully. Lexical resources is another area that requires attention.
Keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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Try to follow the essay structure as discussed in class, different headings for example are not required.
In order to establish more coherence, you could talk about how punishment can affect students adversely , I believe that would do even more justice to question as well as to answer. Second body paragraph could be developed with explanation.
keep writing!!
Band: 3/6
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now a days (nowadays)
I partially think peers (pupils/students) showcase ; peers means a person of same age group or position
We will go into detailed (details)further
they may loose control if they did (do) not get the reward,
“Everything depends on students (students’) behaviour
. If the students (student) behaves
Feedback : somehow the essay is mentioning the factors that fetch him rewards and punishments , but question is about do you think they perform better when rewarded than punished?. Clearly , the body paragraphs have not been developed fully. No example found. Monotonous and casual phrases has been used , try to stick with formal writing style . Introduction is mentioning about partial agreement but the body paragraphs are in favor of punishment.
Band: 2.5/6
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In introduction, thesis statement is not highlighting your viewpoint ( as question demands; do you think merits outweigh the demerits)
Recently, trends suggests (suggest), the option
, it would (require) proper planning and synchronization
well for safer and healthier upbringing of their sibling (child).
it is more convenient for youngers (younger) parents to serve their child as compared to the older one’s (ones)
modern demands expects (expect) parents t (to) be versatile
sibling. – this word has been used inappropriately ; sibling means brother or sister.
. However, care must to(be) taken
Feedback : an effort to use different sentence structure and lexical resources is appreciated. There has been clear overall progression throughout , but there were places where use of lexical resources could establish even better cohesion ( for instance, for example etc.). Be cautious with subject – verb agreement.
Keep writing!!
Band: 4/6
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I am one of the person (persons)
I learnt intrecacies (intricacies)
helpfull (helpful)
Yours Sincerely, (faithfully)
omkar (Omkar)
Letter is well-written . usage of lexical resources is appreciated. There has been clear overall progress throughout. Be careful with the minor slips as mentioned above.
Band: 2.5/3
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one of cookery course (courses)
I think we are missing one of the indian (Indian) famous dish (dishes) – proper noun
so i (I) suggest
writing could be more effective with the usage of cohesive devices. It will enhance the cohesion among sentences.
Keep writing!!
Band: 2/3
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Hello Sir, (Dear Sir or…)- already mentioned in the letter
The task is under length. Therefore, the reasons and development of bullet points has been compromised.
Lexical resources need to be considered, avoid the repeating same common words.
Band: 1.5/3
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the presence of Seals were (was) higher in the Gomez Strait
the number of seals starts(started) rising.
Task is under length , hence limited use of sentence structures, features has been observed.
There is wide range of adverbs and adjectives to depict the trend, try to use meticulously.
Band: 1.5/3
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,the government plays a (an) important role in maintaining (keeping) the environment safe and healthy.
stopping plastic waste from entering and contaminating water outlets (bodies) people are able to save drinking water and the natural habitat (for aquatic life)
such activities are more easy to educate people about the important (importance) of protecting the nature.
In conclusion(,) the government should
paraphrasing could be done effectively , avoid copying language from question
paragraphing has not been done as required , 2 views are presented in one paragraph; not advised.
second body paragraph seems to be distorted as it is the off-topic.
sentence range needs to be considered.
Band: 2.5/6
