Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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Graphs
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Feedback : Word limit of minimum 250 words needs to be maintained
reviews online of a (for a) particular product before
will discuss on the importance ( discuss the importance); no preposition is required
Topic sentences could have been more effective
Band : 3/6
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Feedback : Word limit of minimum 250 words needs to be maintained. Use Cohesive devices wisely.
Band : 3/6
Keep writing!
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Feedback : Make use of transition words to establish logical sequence throughout the paragraph.
Try to use punctuations for better understanding
Topic sentences of each body paragraph could have been more effective
other people say that it is responsible for individuals as well (individuals are responsible as well)
Band : 2.5/6
Keep practicing!!
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The advancements made in technology is (are)
it will include isolation and becoming lethargic ( The sentences are incomplete; at times subjects are missing or at times collocation errors are there)
When physical interactions doesn’t happen (don’t happen)
pushing themselves to dangerous (sedentary) lifestyle
Feedback: Examples are missing, avoid being repetitive with the vocabulary. Be careful with “Subject- verb” agreement. Need to work on sentence structure, in order to make complex sentences try not to loose the basic essence of the content.
Band: 2/6
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well written. Keep writing!!
Band : 2.5/3
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Feedback : Be careful with subject -verb agreement – The rate of crimes are (is) increasing
Marjor (Major)
Make use of cohesive devices to make the information more clear (to show contrast or to support the details)
opening statement of body paragraph 2, could be more effective (as it is what other section of society thinks)
We can aware such people ( such people can be made aware) – avoid we, our, us , you etc. until and unless your opinion is being asked as it tends to informal tone.
It is mentioned in the introduction that writer agrees on former statement , however conclusion is in accordance with latter one.
Work on sentence structure
No examples found
Band : 2.5/6
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Feedback : Thesis statement could be more effective. Make use of punctuations after connectors (on one hand, on the other hand,)
curriculam (curriculum)
This is were (where) art is an
career on (in)
No examples found
Avoid usage of personal pronouns in general statement
Use range of sentence structures
Band : 2.5/6
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Feedback : Well written, although example in body paragraph would be appreciated.
Band : 4/6
Keep writing!
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widely spoke(n)
it (is) also the reason
let’s discuss (informal)
Firstly, because of(of not required) everyone is known to English language
it is also a benefit (beneficial)
India is one of the most popular tourist country(countries)
Feedback : Need to work on sentence formation and grammatical skills. Usage of cohesive devices is not convincing. Logical connection among sentences is missing.
Band : 1.5/6
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Feedback : main pros and cons can be mentioned in thesis statement
other States for tourism (states, not a proper noun)
Otherwise, well-executed
Band : 3.5/6
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Feedback : Avoid personal pronouns especially in introduction
Every people ( is wrong usage as every is singular in usage)
By this way people (are) suffering
By this way people suffering economically and also the growth of nation deteriorates.(maintain parallelism; either keep both ideas in continuous form or indefinite)
Solutions (as asked in question ) should be in distinct paragraph , not in conclusion.
stick to Task-2 structure.
Work on sentence structure
Band : 2/6
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well-written and supported perfectly with examples.
In formal writings, we tend to avoid usage of personal pronouns.
Keep writing!!
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I am writing this letter to express my dissatisfaction at (with your hotel facilities during meeting organised by our company) your hotel for the meeting organized for our company.
our team were unhappy (was unhappy ; team is a collective noun)
Feedback : Task-1 should be of minimum 150 words. Stick to letter structure as discussed ; bullet points in distinct paragraph. Need to work on sentence structure.
Band : 1/3
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Introduction could be more in adherence with question as it demands problems , not reasons
individuals will have to bare (bear) the additional
Introduce the argument and develop it fully; move on to next one rather than rephrasing it repeatedly
Work on Grammatical range and sentence structures.
Band: 2.5/6
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Feedback : Very well written. Keep it up
Band : 2.5/3
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Introduction : It should not be just the background related to topic , but paraphrasing , thesis and outline statement needs to be there
the older one gets the more medical attention they require (they require more medical attention)
The older one gets the more medical attention they require. Hence, they require a considerable amount of medical and emotional attention. : Avoid being repetitive by just rephrasing the structure.
Feedback : Use cohesive devices to add more clarity . No example found
Band : 2.5/6
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kalai,(Kalai) : Proper noun
Band score : 2/3
Keep writing!!
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the excessive (use) of anything has side effects,/( The excess of anything)
With a greater number of using Social media( owing to its various benefits), the demand for Social Media services increased.
(To conclude,)The advantages and opportunities of use of Social Media outweigh the disadvantages and limitations due to it
Feedback : Disadvantages could be more aligned to the question as how social media is impacting the verbal skills and emotional quotient perhaps (feeling of isolation, fear of conversations and many more other than that no complaints.
Band : 3/6
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i (I) need to claim ( throughout the letter)
(This was a new phone which) I recently bought Samsung galaxy s10
cohesive devices and grammar range could be more effective.
Keep practicing!
Band : 1.5/3
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The two maps depicts ( depict)
that serviced ( served)
comparison of details needs to be more effective
Band : 2/3
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through holes, which transformed into pellet ( which transforms fibers into pellets).
Make use of cohesive devices to make process more precise (initially/ the first step, finally , followed by, next, in the subsequent stage, before, after etc.)
Band :1.5/3
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people raise objections about banning about the blood sports as it is a brutal game ( people agree to the idea of prohibiting such brutal activities)
an inappropriate way of earning ( attaining) the entertainment
This means ( to elaborate)
the engagement of (animals in ) such sports is somehow( clearly projects inhumanity prevailing in the society) level of inhumanity
someone(‘s) entertainment
Feedback : work on handwriting , some words are not even legible, stick to formal words. Proof read is must to avoid silly mistakes. Keep writing!
Band : 3.5/6
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People throughout the world uses (use) social media to communicate with other(s)(,) using social media platforms (social networking sites) like email, Whatsapp, Facebook, and so many (many more). They prefer to contact with( through) social media rather than face-face (actual interaction) contact because to connect instantly ( as it offers instant connection). (However,) it also includes some drawbacks like depending on electronics devices and privacy issues. Here we will ( this essay will discuss) discuss both benefits and disadvantages briefly.
Mainly, the digital communication system plays major role in human development. It provides wide variety of features including distant learning, remote working, connecting with people irrespective of place and time. For instance, social media (has) become main source of communication of distance family and friends through video or audio call with no need of charges to contact. Particularly in this global covid-19 pandemic, world depends on social media to stay connected with people in office, family and public to get information and support. It helps (to make ) people more productive and safes (ensures regular contact) relationship in regular contact. Furthermore, It helps people to virtually participate in important family functions include birthday parties, anniversary celebration and so on.
Even though social media has more benefits, it has some adverse effects (too). in communicate virtually. Specially offspring(s) loses(lose) their interest to communicate in this mode. The online education has limitation to involve them in practical education and also chances of social skills not developed that includes behaviour, personal development, sharing habits. It affects the chances of exploring the places, people and culture along with face-face meeting. Sometimes depending on electronic devices affects health by eye dryness, stress, radiation exposure.
To conclude, i ( I) believe that usage of social media is more beneficial in evolution of people in society. With improvement in technologies ,people should educate themselves to how to optimize it for (better) communication (and) to avoid health affectsFeedback: follow essay structure, Make distinct paragraphs. No example found, use punctuation marks to add clarity. Follow the corrections made.
Band : 2.5/6
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The (There has been an) exponential increase in the world population,as compared to the past-decades.
world have come up (with) GM foods
I would argue that there are some other methods to overcome this issue. ( this argument has not been developed in the entire essay ); no example found
Band : 3.5/6
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However, I strongly disagree due to (owing to) various health concerns.
one of the biggest (such) advantage(s)/ The biggest advantage is
It has significantly faster growth rate (Crop yield is significantly higher as compared to conventional ones)
as this (these )is (are) not natural (bio-engineered)
In conclusion, GM foods/genetically modified crops have its (their) own benefits
No example found.
Band : 3/6
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Feedback : Word limit for Task2 is minimum 250 words.
In Introduction, outline statement should be in adherence with the question (advantages and disadvantages) . Include main points in thesis statement.
Follow the structure of essay , advantages and disadvantages need to be fully developed with explanation in distinct paragraphs along with suitable examples.
Grammar accuracy : make use of verbs cautiously
Band : 2/6
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The pie charts compares (compare) online shopping
online sales of electronics and appliance was (the) highest in Canada in 2005
but (while) in 2010, online sales of food & beverage and video games increased
As is presented in (2005) pie chart, electronics and appliance
Feedback : comparison and contrast of details needs to be more effective. Avoid Repetitive usage of sentences , work on sentence structure.
Band : 1.5/3
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Feedback. : Example in Body paragraph first could be more elaborated.
Therefore, Children (children) who were never forced to study.
Band: 3.5/6
Keep practising!!
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The pie charts depicts (depict)
from 2005 to 2010 ( in 2005 and 2010)
B.P 1 : Electronics and appliance and food and beverages were the largest sellers (captured more than 60 percent )
increased with 10 % ( increased by 10%)
which acted oppositely with same difference (?)
Band : Work on grammatical range .
1.5/3
