Faculty Falak
FacultyForum Replies Created
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And number of workers employed at the beginning were (was) higher
quantity of metal (production) began from 4000 million tonnes
until August than (then) it goes (went/soared) up to almost 5000 million tonnes closer
, then dramatically decline (declined) in December .
Feedback : Be careful with tense and punctuation marks. Keep writing!!
Band : 1.5/3
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1000 million tonnes before (after) fluctuating in between
Well-written. Keep writing!!
Band : 2.5/3
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Feedback : There is no question on the efficacy of the answer however, I would appreciate the usage of cohesive devices while providing supporting details or adding explanation as sometimes the cohesion among the sentences seems compromised.
Band : 3.5/6
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provide a logical conclusion (not required here, doesn’t fit in the context)
who plan a baby in their 30’s (In topic sentence , I would advise not to twist language that can create confusion or ambiguity; rather than 30’s , use some other expression/phrase)
reach a (at) desired level
Age gap is also considered (as) one of the negative factors when couples decide to be parents at later stages; because (resulting) parents and children cannot (not) share anything with each other.
communication gap between both generations (at the later stage of life)
Well-developed . Apt representation of your stand on the argument. Take above mentioned points into consideration. However, Vocabulary has room for the improvement.
Band : 4/6
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Introduction needs to be paraphrased, avoid copying the question sentence as it is.
Overall should be the overview of graph , short and crisp ; not as detailed you have given
Follow the structure of task-1 as discussed in class , grammar slips have been observed , which can be improved while proof reading. Though the usage of adjective and adverbs is appreciated .
Band : 1/3
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Feedback : Answer has addressed all the bullet points asked in question , however some addition of more supporting details would be appreciated to make task more coherent and logically connected, you may include some of the cohesive devices for that.
Band : 1.5/3
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Kindly upload it in pdf format as, it is not legible.
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that have (has) been recently opened
there are (is) a lot of loud noise
This is affecting total wellbeing of people living near me, it is affecting my sleep time, ( it is not only affecting my sleep time, but also affecting wellbeing of people living near me) – rearrangement of sentence is required here along with appropriate conjunction)
Can (could you please consider) you please sound proof the building – since it seems like you are suggesting solution, hence try to use modal verbs
Feedback : pay attention to subject-verb agreement and key points mentioned above . Keep writing!!
Band : 1.5/3
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newly opened restaurants. (restaurant)
loud music and the nuance (nuisance) of some drunk people
that might create inconvenience to us. (which is creating inconvenience to us); Be assertive
Additionally, you can install soundproof glasses (to minimize the noise effect ) whenever they are necessary.
If you don’t resolve these issues, I (afraid, but ) will have to file
Band : 2/3
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if a person is not financially independent and doesn’t have enough savings then they (he) would
This would allow them to learn, explore and accomplish the goals that both of them would like to achieve before taking up the responsibilities. Because (To illustrate) once they have the kids, it would be difficult to travel for a longer time and also to perform any adventurous sports. (the explanation could be more impressionable if presented as an example)
parents have to (used to) have children in their early 20’s
No example found in B.P 1
Rest is fine , although proof reading will save you from silly errors.
Band : 4/6
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Feedback :
Write essay as per the structure recommended for IELTS (as discussed in class).
Introduction should have paraphrasing sentence and outlining statement .
Try to avoid the use of pronouns like (I, you, we , your, our) until your opinion has been asked. Keep it general and formal style of writing .
advantages and disadvantages should be presented in distinct paragraphs , avoid overlapping of ideas.
I would advise to reattempt the essay .
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has creating (is creating/has created)
a (not required) distinct problems
transforming (transferring) the data
Secondly(,)
into (on) internet
has been solved by the government (should be solved; as these are the suggestions)
work on sentence structure, avoid using same words repeatedly rather write synonyms. No example found
Band : 2.5/6
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you guys (too informal ) made the post very attractive
I hope you can understand the concerns I have with regards (regard ) to the large
a large apartment which is more than 5 floors that would be a problem for me and my family. (I would suggest to write by considering the concerns of your whole housing society)
Bullet points need to be discussed in distinct paragraphs
Band : 2/3
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Feedback : The question is misunderstood , so is the response. GM foods refer to genetically modified crops.
I would advise to attempt the question again
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Feedback : well- written and nicely developed however, an example in body paragraph2, would be appreciated.
There is room for improvement in Lexical resources and sentence structure
Band : 4/6
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Contemporary world is witnessing drastic changes in the ways of communication (and the way information is being shared ), after the advent of internet
This essay will through (throw)
privacy of an individual in (on) any platforms of the internet
using and selling individual(‘s) data
Why? because, any media which is available in the internet asks a person’s personal details and location upon signing up in that application, which they share with a lot of other platforms. ( a contradiction has been observed , either write how? instead of Why? or explain Why they do say in elaborated way
With regards to remedies, (regard)
Band : 3.5/6
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but many problems are created because of that which were not sited earlier (but many problems are created which were not sited (cited) earlier)
One of the first and foremost problem (The first and foremost problem)
platform and that leads to mental disorders (distress) to many people
the best solution of these solutions (problems) are,
before posting any information to (on) social media
Take care of minor details as mentioned . However, usage of wide range of sentence structures would be appreciated Keep writing!!
Band : 3.5/6
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Whereas, along with the benefits (,) it came up with significant risks.
Thesis statement could be more effective (could mention problem or solution)
data that are available in (on) the internet,
In body paragraph 1, topic sentence is missing
it is increasing the hacking numbers per day and cyber threats. ( It is increasing the rate of hacking numbers and cyber threats per day)
Along with that, due to too much availability of information over internet causes the risk where a child can (just give a check , the issue is not about availability of too much information but how readily it is available)
potential (potentially) harmful sites
acknowledge their age. (deny their age)
eventually to society. ( to is not required)
as there are both pros and cons for every development that’s happening in the modern world, (I suggest not to project essay as “advantages and disadvantages essay” ; rather it is a problem solution one)
Band : 3/6
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I am writing this letter with regards (regard ) to the article
I am writing this letter with regards to the article, I have recently had a chance to read that was published in your Times India multi-national magazine on September 10th,2021 ( I am writing this letter with regard to the article , that had published in your magazine Times India magazine on ….)
In addition, it would impact make a huge impact on the policies – (proof reading is must)
as well as spreading out the inaccurate information that would impact the tourism, business, and opinions (,) so
with the update(d) accurate information.
Band : 1.5/3
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Feedback : The letter is just not about taking care of pet , read question carefully.
Band : 1.5/3
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Between people (among people in the society)
Topic sentences need to be more precise and in adherence to the question rather than just a general view
The answer is not what question is demanding. I would advise to reattempt it.
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overall character improve(s)
children’s overall character improve when there is a shift in the mode of teaching to include prizes rather than penalizing alone. (couldn’t find the justification over this “alone” usage)
teachers correct them giving remunerations (remunerations would not be an appropriate word here)
Need to work on essay structure as here, B.P 1 is saying if we follow “X” it will be useful and B.P 2 is saying if we do not follow “X” it will be harmful . (This structure is not recommended )
Examples need to be more specific and it is advisable to include examples in both the paragraphs .
Band : 2/6
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Feedback :
Overall needs to be a separate paragraph.
budget was spent in (on) medicine
Whereas less budget (small portion of overall budget) was spent on medicine and houhold goods
Task -1 should have 150 words minimum (must) ; these are only 138 words .
Band : 1.5/3
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Feedback :
both demand and production were declined at the end of the year (demand was not dropped at the end of the year rather caught the same amount as it was in the very beginning)
sharply fall (fell)
. Production was a high increase in prodction in one month (Amount of production showed an increment of 1000 million tones in one month)
this (This) number reamined static (remained)
Important tip : Proof reading is must as silly mistakes have been observed.
Band : 2/3
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Feedback :
species known as salmon (Salmon)- Proper noun.
to (an) adult Salmon
They then migrates (migrate)
Always proof read , in order to avoid silly mistakes; otherwise well-explained.
Band : 2/3
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Feedback : (Overall,) is the connector that is advised to use while giving the overview.
Overview, needs to talk about the general view of graphical representation , hence I would recommend to talk about process rather than just the structure.
Band : 1.5/3
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Feedback : This (these) are the few reasons
Capital letters should only be used for the first word at the beginning of the sentence or if word is a proper noun.
Punctuation marks should be used carefully especially use of comma after connectors.
Subject – Verb agreement is also a concern
Lexical resources need to be improved.
Band : 2.5/6
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Feedback : why I believe that being (studying) an art subject at school brings creativity to students but (and) is not a waste of time.
Need to work on sentence range, as monotonous structure has been observed here.
Try not to introduce a new angle in conclusion rather just sum up the ideas discussed in distinct paragraphs.
Band : 3/6
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Feedback : Inculcate the usage of cohesive devices. Example in body paragraph 2 , would be appreciated.
nature habitat (natural habitat)
Band : 4/6
Keep writing!!
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On one hand(,)
Untill (Until) and unless some strict laws are made by the authority (,)humans are going to destroy the enviornment (environment)
Secondly (,) travelling by various non polluting vehicle(s)
Let’s find out in the next passage.(too casual); rather you can go for (This notion is yet to be considered under certain conditions)
Use punctuations to make writing more effective.
Otherwise, well -written and supported with examples. Keep writing!
Band: 3.5/6
